Stay True To Yourself

STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF

I want to share this post with you in the hopes that should you feel the same, you realise that you really aren't alone, that it's okay to be the minority within the majority, and to most importantly stay true to yourself.

So over the last couple of days I literally thought I was going crazy. I was caught in this horrible mentality where on the one hand I couldn't stop thinking about what I should and ought to be doing. or should have done by now, in the eyes of society, and on the other hand what I personally felt I should be doing and wanted to do. The conflict in my mind was awful. It felt like I was being pulled two different directions, in spite of the fact that I knew exactly which direction it was that I wanted to go down. The dilemma arose because the two just didn't match in the slightest. They were both so different, and I started feeling ridiculously bad about myself because my personal belief, opinions and actions mean that in the eyes of society I am very much the odd one out. It highlights me as different to everyone else, because what I want, and what society wants, are two very different, opposing things. So as a result, I started thinking that there was something wrong with me, and being so hard on myself because I wasn't meeting societies expectations. It felt like I just wasn't like everyone else, and I was the only one who felt this way, and that I needed to change. However on the converse, a part of me was begging me not forget my beliefs, the things that are important to me, and to not let go of them, turn my back on everything I've ever believed, just so I can fit in with everyone else. Remember that I'm not the only one (as Sam Smith would say), even if it feel likes that so resolutely. 

I may as well put it out there now what my conflict was, because even though it is a tad embarrassing, when I think back to how many times I've felt so awful about it or like I'm the only one, and the way it makes me feel, or when I remember the times when I really needed to know that it wasn't just me and that I wasn't alone, it seems worth it if it means that someone else can feel better and not so alone. So to cut to the point, the fact of the matter is I am eighteen years old and I've never had a boyfriend, never been kissed and am still a virgin. There, it's been said/ typed. This is the main conflict that follows me everywhere I go at the moment. And just to clarify, I'm okay with this because I know why these things are so, and a lot of it is down to my personal opinions and beliefs on the topics, but in the eyes of society it feels like it's just not okay for me to be able to say those things at age 18, let alone all three. Society makes me feel like there is something wrong with me, even when I know in my heart that that isn't the case, and makes it hard for me to stay true to myself and what I want. 

Now I'm not going to go into more detail about it, because this post isn't about that. It's not about my conflict or issue or yours. This isn't about what's creating that conflict and making it hard for you to stay true to yourself. We all have different issues, conflicts, and things that coupled with the pressures, attitudes and expectations of society make it so hard to stay true to who you are and be yourself. This post is to tell you that yes, it is ridiculously hard to be who you want to be, to hold on to your individual beliefs, dreams, opinions if they don't align with, or they differ from societies and the majority. It shouldn't be that way, but it is. This post is to tell you that yes, growing up in this day and age is really hard, because we have so many pressures and expectations placed upon our heads from our peers, our parents, the world. You have all you need to stay afloat but these pressures and expectations try and weigh you down, as does the fear of what might happen if you don't comply. But this post is to also tell you that it is completely 100% definitely, absolutely okay to be different to everyone else. It is okay to not be in the majority, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. 

I consider myself to be highly stubborn and headstrong when I want to be, which is why the majority of the time I can deal with being different to most people, and I am also lucky to have people around me who understand exactly where I'm coming from and who are very much like me, and these people frequently pull me back down to earth when my head is in the clouds, fretting away about everything. They remind me that I'm not alone, nor am I going crazy or wrong to feel the way I do. However every now and again I crack, like I did at the weekend. We all do from time to time. But I want you to remember these things when that happens: 

1) Stay strong, be strong, and remember you are so strong for having the courage to be different

and not comply to the expectations, beliefs and pressures that surround you. That, my friend,

takes some balls, so good on you.

2) Remember to take a step back in situations which make you feel bad about yourself. Change your perspective, see the situation for what it really is, and clear your head, re-focus yourself.

3) Be nice to yourself and celebrate the fact that you're different. If everyone was the same the world

would be a highly boring place.

4) Remember that if your beliefs, opinions etc. seem to be different to everyone else's, they're different for a reason. You made them that way, or they just are that way for a reason: because it was and is important to you and who you are.

5) Don't apologise for being different or be sorry for seeing and doing things differently. And most

importantly, don't ever be sorry for who you are.

6) You aren't a freak, you aren't an abnormality, you aren't a social outcast, you aren't a loser,

you aren't pathetic, you aren't inferior. Don't let anyone tell you that or make you feel like that,

and don't ever tell yourself that. Like I said, be nice to yourself. It helps a lot.

7) If in doubt, remember why your beliefs, actions, opinions are the way they are, because there's normally a highly valid and damn good reason. 

8) Talk, vent, get if off your chest, and if you can't do that with others around you head to

Google and type in the questions bothering you most, because you'll find that there are a hell of a lot of people out there who've felt exactly the same as you, and asked the exact same questions, and realise that you really aren't alone.

9) Hold what's important to you close to your heart.

10) Everything will work out in the end, so live your life freely and happily and exactly how you want to live it. Don't forget it;s your life, so do whatever the hell you want, believe whatever you want, take your life into your hands and own it, celebrate it.

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I know that words don't always help, and that things take time. I know it's so hard sometimes to stay afloat, or remember the reasons why. I know what it's like to feel alone, or like the only one. I know you can almost cave in despite wanting to stand tall and be proud of what you believe in. Life is hard, so, so hard, but we can get through it. Variation and diversity is what life and existence thrives on, so love, embrace and stand by all the things that make you different, because they make you who you are, and you are perfect just the way you are, even if it doesn't fit the stereotypical mould. I love you just the way you are, I'm learning to love myself just the way I am, and I want you to remember you're never alone, happiness is heading your way, and even when the wind is trying to take you one way, be resistant, let it pass over your head. You don't have to surrender yourself to it. Stay true to who you are. You can do it.