Looking After Myself

LOOKING AFTER MYSELF 

When I was in my teenage years, I always used to assume that by the time I reached my twenties, I would be a fully functioning, competent adult.

And I definitely thought I would've gotten the hang of one very important thing: looking after myself.

Therefore, one of the greatest surprises of turning 18, 19, 20, then 21, and 22 next year, is that these things don't just happen overnight. They aren't just a given. Who you are doesn't magically transform. The insecurities remain. The questionable personality traits remain. The beliefs, attitudes and values remain. The person inside remains. The child within you still pops up to say hello. Yet the context around you changes. And somehow, you have to find a way of fitting into this new world that is asking you to be someone you've not quite transformed into yet.

Adulting is hard. 

And one of the most difficult things I've encountered, is the looking after myself part. 

I'm a naturally anxious person, so that tends to rear its head on a daily basis. Then there's the love of cheese, wine, sticky toffee pudding, potato waffles etc. which makes the neurones in my brain go wild with excitement. My self esteem is eternally stuck on an endless roller coaster of ups and downs, so some days I feel like the best person in the whole entire world, and others I feel like I will never be good enough for anything or anyone. I can be sensitive. I can be impulsive (like that random Sunday afternoon where I bought a drum). I find it hard to chill out.

I wake up in the morning and gormlessly scroll through Instagram. My posture is stuck somewhere between a chimp and a sloth. I forget to check my bank account and make sure I have enough to pay my rent. I end up in A&E because I think the antibiotics are meant to make my infected finger become more swollen. I end up spending a weekend in Lancaster without money, ID, student card, bank cards, my Brownie Points loyalty card, because I was too preoccupied with buying my egg and sausage McMuffin and my purse got nicked. I keep drinking milk even though it makes my tummy funny every morning. I vary between being a stingy and excessive spender. I get too conscious about my dry skin. And worst of all, I still pick my spots.

Sure all these things make me me, and I know I'm not going to have nailed being an adult just yet, but the difficulty is, I am now responsible for all these things. These are all my choices. Nobody else's. And that means I am ultimately responsible for my own wellbeing, something I've always struggled with. And I'm not afraid to admit that that scares me.

But this year has been a good year, a very good year, because it has made me realise that, not only should I take looking after myself more seriously, I am also capable of doing that, and I get better at it with every passing day, month, year. I am listening to my body and being kinder to it. I am trying to help my mind be a health, happy, relaxed place. I eat relatively ok. I do exercise. I'm trying to get better a opening up, apologising for my mistakes, treating myself, taking a break, and putting things into perspective. I'm trying to fight my corner, be nice to myself, and trust that I can do anything and everything that I set my mind to. And even though I don't always get this adulting thing right, and some days I just love a good argument, a pity party, or the chance to unleash my inner child, when I look at my life as a whole, I don't think I'm doing too badly.

And as a new year dawns, and more milestones are ticked, changes are made, and new unknown awaits with many a story to tell, I want 2018 to be the year when I start looking after myself properly. Intertwine all those separate little strands together, so that I give myself the best chance of being happy, healthy, content, and ready to take on this great adventure with a spring in my step and sparkle in my eye. 2017, a little firecracker of a year, was all about the new, it was all about big changes, and it was all about the bigger picture. And I'm hoping 2018 will be about making the most of the present, and every single day that comes my way, championing myself, creating small but meaningful changes, and focusing on what matters most of all:

Happiness. Friendship. Love. Resilience. Health. Positivity. And not loosing my bloody purse in McDonalds. 

Happy New Year folks!

What I've Learnt: 2017

WHAT I'VE LEARNT: 2017

This year has been a strange but wonderful year for me. 

 So much is new. So much is unexpected. So much has been learnt. 

I have had such a brilliant time, and part of me is wondering where the year went. More than ever, I want to hold onto this year, because next year is when things change all over again. Regardless of what happens, or where I end up, what I want more than anything is to land on my feet. I want stability, some familiarity, a green light. Go. But I guess only time will tell.

Meanwhile, back to 2017, of course there have been the usual iffy moments. We all get our fair share. But this year, I've noticed they've been more focused and intense, rather than lots of little regular episodes. Is it me? Is it circumstance? I don't know, but I think I prefer it this way. My mind is happy most of the time, I feel more in control of my mental health and well-being, almost like I can decide which way the tide turns, whether the sun shines, how long the rain has to fall.

And of course, alongside the iffy moments, there have been lots and lots of joyful moments, a new harvest of memories to add to the burgeoning collection. Earlier today I was thinking about what my life will be like 10 years from now, and how I'll feel when I look back at these times. Even though I don't know what my future holds, I just know that I will always cherish these university years. What a wonderful chapter to add to my life, the story of me. How lucky I have been.

But likewise, great as this chapter has been, and despite being better than I ever could have dreamed, I'm hoping that it is not my Golden Age. 

I know it's unlikely things will ever be this good again, but I'm hopeful that my life will evolve into another kind of good, another kind of happiness, in the years to come. Maybe not as heightened or intense, but just as fulfilling, adventurous and magical. So with that, here are the most important things 2017 has taught me, and which I hope to carry through as another chapter dawns and a new sun rises.

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LESSONS:

001. Say yes to the opportunities that come your way, or make them yourself.

002. When it comes to love, take matters into your own hands. Forget about the rules. Create your own happiness.

003. Cherish the people you love. See them, talk to them, hug them, as much as you can, because one day you will realise that they aren't going to be here forever. Our time is limited, so make the most of it.

004. Remember to take a step back and see the bigger picture. 

005. Work is important, but it is not the most important thing. 

006. Relaxation is just as crucial as eating, sleeping, breathing, drinking, so don't feel bad for doing it. 

007. Always make time for your friends, value each person and what they bring to your life, and remember the best people will never leave you.

008. Apologise for and accept your mistakes, and then do what you can to learn from them.

009. Be kind to people.

010. Volunteer when you can- even an hour of your time can make such a huge difference to someone else's life.

011. Trust that you will cross that finish line, and in the mean time, enjoy the ride.

012. An egg & sausage McMuffin, and taking a selfie with it, is not worth losing your purse over

013. Compromise.

014. Nip that finger infection in the bud, before your finger balloons to the size of a golf ball.

015. Believe in yourself and your worth because no-one else will, and most of all, be resilient (because you might just end up as captain of a sports team, or getting that summer job). 

016. Don't go to bed without resolving an argument- sort it out as soon as you can and move on.

017. Get a waterproof bag.

018. It's ok to dwell and not feel good, but keep pushing yourself back up and fighting back.

019. A relationship is not always easy, but the right person is worth all the hard times a million times over. 

020. Butternut squash, homemade bread, bean burgers, mulled wine, Crazy Pedro's pizza, rosemary cheese and seasalt toasties, halloumi fries, tequila= all amazing

021. Let your guard down and open up.

022. Be someone that people can trust and talk to. 

023. Treat yourself.

024. Don't let your sister cut your hair. 

Thank You

THANK YOU

This morning, my heart has felt very full. And I have been feeling very soppy because of it. So brace yourself.

 I can't stop thinking about how incredibly grateful and thankful I am, for all the brilliant, amazing, wonderful, gorgeous, lovely people that I'm lucky enough to have in my life. 

These moments happen every once in a while. Moments when that particular realisation strikes me like a lighting bolt. And my mind starts to flicker through every single person who is a part of my life, and who brings such joy and meaning and companionship, just by being them. I am so lucky. So very lucky.

I've said this numerous times before, but I have been blessed in life. Not for the material, trivial, consequential things but for the people. The people who have walked this road alongside me, and joined me along the way. 

Sometimes I can't quite fathom how it came to be. It's kind of overwhelming sometimes. 

In life it's so easy to take people for granted. Forget to stop and appreciate how brilliant they are, and how lucky you are to know them, and to even have met them in the first place. It's easy to feel alone. Like you're the only one along for the ride. It's easy to assume these people will always be there, when that's not always the case.

So in light of all these things, I just wanted to say thank you.

Thank you to all the people who are a part of my life, and have made it so much happier, loving, sparklier, joyful, richer, fulfilling, just simply by being there.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. From the depths of the universe. From every last little molecule and particle of my being. Thank you for making me feel loved, content and not alone. Thank you for making such treasured memories with me. Thank you for making me realise what really matters most in life. Thank you for being here. 

Thank you for being you.

Because you help make me me. 

And that means more to me than you could ever possibly know.

Summer 2017

SUMMER 2017

And so another incredible summer came to a close.

As F. Scott Fitzgerald once said, 'life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall', and I can feel that change everywhere I go. It's racing through the air, tumbling out in the words I speak, blooming within the feelings and emotions in my body, placing a new lens over the way I think. Another chapter begins as one is closed. The future beckons once more.

Last summer, I remember thinking that it was the best one of my life. Surely I couldn't experience anything better. How could it be possible? Last year I made so many treasured memories, went on lots of different adventures, involved in the things that make me happy, and spent time with the people I love. It was an important summer because it shifted something within me, and helped it fall into the right place. I emerged feeling so unbelievably content, confident, positive, happy, loved, grateful, and excited for the future. It changed a lot of things.

So this summer had a lot to live up to. And did it achieve it? By heck it did. Although not as life changing as last summer, it was certainly four months of joy, adventure, love, happiness, friendship and fulfilment. And I'm walking away from it with memories that will last a lifetime. 

Therefore, in honour of this corker of a summer, which physically hurts to say goodbye to (I wish it would last forever), here's a list of some of the things I got up to...

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ADVENTURINGS...

• Visited the Isle of Wight and Portsmouth, and went swimming in the early morning sea, travelled around the island, had late afternoon drinks, drank the best hot chocolates, watched Harry Potter, went bowling, had the best toasties, fell more in love and reminisced from way back when
• Spent the day with my grandparents and we did a spontaneous photoshoot in the garden, sunbathed under the beautiful sun and I introduced my Spanish Nana to 'Despacito'- she told me she understood every word
• A gorgeous afternoon tea at a local farm shop with some of my oldest friends
• Friday night with prosecco, Hagen Daaz and Sex & The City
• Going to Devon and playing badminton on the beach, paddling in the sea, taking a boat across the harbour, fish and chips on the pebbled beach, frisbee on the park, ice cream, tea and cake pitstops on the M5
• Summer job at schuh, working with the best team of people, surrounded by beautiful shoes, and being paid to talk about shoes non stop
• Volunteering for the Stroke Association, and being reminded why I'm doing this degree, and how incredible it feels to do something positive and worthwhile for another person- especially seeing how their confidence and skills grow
• Seeing two of my sister's LAMDA shows and feeling so proud of her!! 
• Watching Wimbledon from the top of One Exchange Shopping centre in the hot July heat
• Discovering the Natural History Museum
• Adventuring through London, all the way from West Ham, and an impromptu coffee date with my old housemate, to meeting my family for a cuppa at McDs. My sis and I then continued out adventures around London in the pouring rain. We ended up in the Lego Shop, The National Portrait Gallery, snuck into a choir rehearsal at St Martin-in-the-Fields church, walked through Seven Dials, had £5 pizza and wandered all around Covent Garden and Bloomsbury. It was magical
• Bank holiday weekend with (almost) all my family. Gorgeous lasagnas, pies, pancakes, fruit, courtesy of my Nan. A trip to Tutbury Castle which made me feel so in touch with my inner child, and so happy, carefree, excited about life. Being able to buy candyfloss for my cousins. Laughing and singing all evening. Sandwiches and tea in the garden, talking until late at night
• Discovered Coventry and Bedworth, and met my boyfriend's family, who all made me feel so welcome
• Walks in the forest in the pouring rain, walks in the countryside in the pouring rain, walks on the back field that overlooks everywhere, and the sunset turning the sky into a rainbow
• Staying with two of my oldest friends in a flat in Seville, and exploring the city, dancing to Spanish music at an outdoor nightclub until 6 in the morning, a beautiful and authentic Spanish meal, afternoon churros, discovering the city, pretending to be bullfighters, laughing so much, listening to the locals advice to wear suncream
• Torremolinos with my parents- all the cats, all the bevs, all the nice food, all the beach days
• Going to my first wedding as a 20-something year old, when it was my friend getting married. It was such a beautiful, creative, simple ceremony, and an honour to be a part of
• Watching Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, Stevie Nicks & The Lumineers at Hyde Park on a balmy, pink July evening, and having an incredible celebration of love, music, happiness. And not realising at the time how lucky we were to be seeing Tom Petty's last UK performance
• The best mac n cheese ever, the best halloumi fries ever
• A spontaneous early morning spoons breakfast with my oldest and best friend 
• Taking tequila shots in a 'The Hobbit' drinking game, my friend spontaneously buying a Bongo, wandering around Nottingham, arcade games at the bowling alley, running around the neighbourhood playing frisbee as the rain poured down, late night Singstar till 4 in the morning, ball games in the park, cosy Sunday evening drinks and boardgames
• Hanging out with my sis and her oldest friend, feeling like it was old times all over again
• Lying in Arboretum Park, under the glowing sun
• Dancing the night away at Rock City and bringing out all my best dance moves
• Drinks and food with old school friends, re-connecting and reminiscing after another year of our lives had passed
• Afternoon day trip to Belper, binging on Ru Paul, face masks, going to a trampoline park and a chicken, bacon and cheese panini from spoons
• Visiting my friend in Blackpool and being fed so much delicious homemade food, watching the Age of Adaline, having cava and foot massages, daytripping to Lytham St Anne's where we had coffee and cake, explored all the shops, swung on the swings in the park and raced up the sand dunes in the late afternoon sun. We had a long walk around Stanley Park and almost got blown away on Blackpool Sea front. It was perfect.
• Another year volunteering in at a kids camp in the middle of Derbyshire. Despite the pouring rain every single day, and the difficult behaviour, it was so fulfilling to give those kids an amazing holiday filled with adventure, sports, arts, friendship and lots and lots of delicious food
• Spontaneous family trip to Ashbourne
• Bingewatching This Morning, Lord of The Rings, Planet of The Apes, Stranger Things, Riverdale, Gilmore Girls
• Having the best daytrip to Leicester, involving Pizza Hut buffet lunch, wandering up to Victoria Park and popping into the museum along the way, shopping, exploring the city, walking down canals all the way to Abbey Park, feeding ducks in the late afternoon rain, apple pie and tea at McDonalds, taking curvey photos outside The Curve
• Having my first unicorn hot chocolate with an old friend, playing in the park like we were children all over again, and drinking G&T's & cucumber on the rooftop of the local pub
• Cafe date with my sis, talking about everything you could imagine in the world, as always
• Learning how to make loads of incredible food, including carbonara, toffee apple crumble, chocolate cookies, brownie, carrot cake, chicken noodle soup
• New glasses which make everyone remark how intelligent I look
• The silly little things, like being able to wake up and say hello to my family, spend the day with them, and see some of my old friends, just like it used to be. Oh and not having to cook dinner for myself all summer.
• GETTING SUNBURNT DURING 7 CONSECUTIVE DAYS OF HEAVY RAIN

My First 24 Hours of Uni

MY FIRST 24 HOURS OF UNI 

Once upon a time, I was a fresher. 

Fast forward four years, and I'm now in my final year of university and spending my Friday nights deciding what cereal to buy in Lidl, and chilling in my flannel pyjamas, drinking tea and watching Coronation Street (how did that happen). 

Now that I'm back in Manchester, one of the greatest cities on Earth and my beloved second home, I can't help but get nostalgic about my first year. Way back when I was a fresher. 

I'm thinking about all the memories I made. The people I met. The things I experienced. The way I felt. It feels so far removed from me now, almost like a perfect dream that happened to somebody else. I loved my first year of university more than words could ever possibly express. When I think about my first year, it's a gorgeous, glowing, glittering yearning and fondness that swells in my heart. I don't think words could ever do it justice, or capture the way life felt back then. It was almost otherworldly.

I was so lucky with my experience, because everything fell into place for me from the very beginning. I loved my housemates, my flat, my city, my university, my course. Everything was right somehow. 

Having begun my final year of this wonderful, magical, maddening and life changing experience, I feel an even greater fondness for my first year of university, because it was such a special, innocent, liberating time in my life. The start of an incredible journey. And things will never be that way again.

So in honour of all those fresh, excited, buzzing faces flooding the streets before me, hearts full of anticipation, awe, curiosity and adventure... blissfully unaware of what is to come, and as a little nostalgic throwback for me, I thought I'd share a piece of writing which I wrote following my first 24 hours of university.

If you're expecting wild debauchery I'm afraid I wasn't your girl, but if you like tales involving random Brazilian men then get stuck in.

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SEPTEMBER 2014

It’s three in the morning and I’m sat in my new bedroom, trying to figure out how to work the internet connection. 

I can hear Lana del Rey singing, and the Irish girl from upstairs teaching people to say ‘cheers’ in Irish (it’s Slanja or something like that, if you didn’t know). Not so long ago she was teaching me that, and passionately telling me how she’s Irish and not British. It’s kind of funny actually, although lovely as she is, I hope she goes to bed soon because I can hear her through the breezeblock walls and her slanjas are keeping me awake. 

Today has been so strange from beginning to end. I woke up with the entire world butterfly population in my tummy, did my final packing, ate my final meal at home, and it wasn’t long before Ro was crying, which meant that I ended up crying too. Dad packed all my stuff up in the car (very easily, much to my surprise), and Mum bought me the entire stock of Morrisons so that I’ll never go hungry, or at least not till I’m thirty. Then before I knew it, I was leaving my home of eighteen years and headed to Manchester to begin the new phase of my life. Being in the car like that with all my family, it didn’t feel like I was actually really doing it; it all felt like a dream that was happening to someone else, not me. 

The journey up was really nice, although we did get a few traffic jams, and besides, I didn’t get the chance to be nervous because about half an hour in I began to need the loo. By the time we pulled in at Fallowfield campus I was trying so hard not to pee myself, because that would not be a good first impression. After sitting in a long queue we eventually made it to my area of the campus and Dad pulled up whilst I went to get my key. When I came out Mum, Ro and Dad had somehow managed to get my entire belongings, all 10,000 kilos of it, stacked onto a large metal trolley and we all went over to my new flat. Luckily it's at the very end of the building, nearest the road, and we didn’t smash any crockery unlike another girl who apparently did (result). 

At some point my new flatmate from Abergavenny came out her room with her parents, and we chatted a little. Then my other flatmate came up to say hi and have a chat. He’s from Breacon in Wales, so obviously I had to ask him if he knew that Boots water is from there, and he didn’t so there you go, I'm imparting useful knowledge already and it’s not even been twenty four hours. 

 At some point my other flatmates from Doncaster and Colchester came upstairs too. One asked if I wanted any cake. I definitely think we'll be friends. Afterwards my new pal from Abergavenny made us all tea, and eventually, after unleashing my millions of belongings upon Flat 68, Beech Court, Oak House, it was time for my family to leave. Yet again, Rosie's crying set me off. Dad was a little teary and Mum didn't cry once. Apparently they all went to McDonalds on the way home so I guess they’re going be just fine! I hugged Rosie four individual times before I could finally let her go, and it was so hard to say goodbye, but after they left I went into the lounge and sat with my new flatmates.

Soon we started making dinner, and one housemate tried to make pasta but the water boiled everywhere. He was the most elaborate. The rest of us stuck to beans on toast and melted cheese. After much deliberation, we finally decided that tonight we would go to a house party in another block. We all went together and played ‘Ring of Fire’, and I took a can of Strongbow which made me feel sick. I made that Strongbow last for a looooooooong time. 

Eventually we left the flat to go to Squirrels bar. It was packed with people, so we stood around and mingled. Somehow I ended up wandering around campus with a guy from Birmingham and his new flatmate. Just as we were about to hang out in their flat, I spontaneously walked out with no explanation. I just felt my legs moving and went along with it. I was going to go back to my flat, but to get in the block, I had to walk past this group of eight or so people who looked like they wanted to get in. I opened the door and began talking to them. Turns out they were all Brazilian.

 They invited me to the party on the floor above. I don’t know if it was the half can of Strongbow I had, or the excitement of the evening, but either way I said yes. In the flat I met even more Brazilians and we talked about  everything from Sherlock, Dr Who, Rio and Brazil. We had such a laugh, and they took me under their wing like an honorary Brazilian, and when they decided to go out they invited me along.

Again I said yes. I had a good feeling about it. 

So we got the bus to the Student Union and spoke the whole way about Brazilian and English culture. We ended up at this crappy bar and left not long after. In the end it was just me and four Brazilian guys, and the nice thing was I felt completely 100% safe and comfortable around them. We had so much to talk about and I kept thinking to myself, never in a million years would I dream of spending my first night at uni like this, but I bloody love it.

We walked all the way home, past the union, down Curry Mile and past Platt Fields, just talking about music, F1, accents... We bumped into some more Brazilians and bought alcohol from New Zealand wines, and ended up back in the flat where the night began. And now there’s plans to go round tomorrow, so look how it’s all turned out! I still feel a little homesick when I’m not doing things to distract myself, and it will be weird waking up in a strange bed tomorrow morning. 

But this journey has began so well, and I’m excited about what will come next. I’ve made some new friends who I look forward to seeing again, and hopefully the only way for things to go now are to keep on going up… Wish me luck.

Things To Do In Derby

THINGS TO DO IN DERBY

Happen to be adventuring to Derby, England's most central city, aka. furthest from the sea, and wondering what there is to do in this fine, lesser known, Midlands paradise? Or on the converse, are you a resident of good old Derbados, like myself, and hoping to discover some new ways to spend your time? 

Well look no further dear readers, for I, a Derby born and bred gal, have you covered. 

Back before I moved to Manchester, I used to think that Derby was a bit, ahem, boring. I was very disparaging, and couldn't for the life of me understand why anyone would want to visit my hometown. There was nothing to do. Nothing to see. And I'd actively encourage people to go to Nottingham instead. 

All that changed once I moved to Manchester for uni. Maybe it was because I missed home, because it's true, there really is no place like it. Maybe it was because I started to viewed Derby through idealistic, nostalgic lenses. Maybe it's because coming home felt exciting for once, and it felt so good to rediscover things and see what had changed in the months inbetween my visits. Maybe it's because I started to truly appreciate my hometown in a way that I never did before. Or maybe it's because Derby finally got a kick up the bum and started developing into the amazing, beautiful, quirky, creative city it was always destined to become. 

I have a feeling it was a mixture of all these things.

And so as you can imagine, I now see Derby through fresh eyes, and I've discovered so much more about my hometown that I never knew before. So much so that I want to share some of my favourite discoveries, and what I consider to be the best bits about good old Derbados, with you dear readers.

So sit back, have a brew, get a Birds cob, and let me introduce you to the UK's best kept secret...

http://www.visitderby.co.uk/

*all images included in this post have a link to their original source*

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EY UP ME DUCK

001. Alchemy Board Game Cafe Bar- Spend endless hours with a brew or a beer, playing free board games from the cafe's extensive selection, or pay £4 and head upstairs for a board game mecca

http://www.alchemycafe.co.uk/

Image source

002. Brownie Points Bakery- Situated just inside Derby's Intu centre near Boots & Specsavers, this little heaven on Earth serves the most delicious brownies you could ever sink your teeth into. Coming in a variety of flavours, and costing between £1.30-£1.80 for a nice chunky slab, if you're a brownie addict like me, I guarantee Brownie Points will be your new favourite supplier.

https://en-gb.facebook.com/browniepointsderby/

Image source

003. The Post House- The Post House is a new development in Derby, situated in the converted old Post Office Building on Victoria Street. Filled with the stalls of different, local food & drink connoisseurs, The Post House's unique touch is that you go to the stall of your choosing, make your purchase, and then find a cosy, fairy-light lit spot to settle. It's such a creative, social and innovative idea, and a real must visit if you happen to be in town.

https://www.theposthousederby.co.uk/

Image source 1; Image source 2

004. Darley Park- Only a 10-15 minute walk out of the city centre, following the River Derwent, this nearby park situated in the beautiful village of Darley Abbey, is a wonderful piece of escapism whatever the season. With lush, flowing trees, plenty of green space and little nooks and crannies to explore, it's perfect for a walk, picnic, kick around or chill, and a real favourite of mine (especially in the Autumn).

http://www.inderby.org.uk/parks/derbys-parks-and-open-spaces/darley-park/

Image source

005. Sadler Gate- Filled with independent shops, cafes, restaurants and pubs, Sadler Gate, in the city's Cathedral Quarter, is a little bit off the beaten track, and perfect for hours of foraging and exploring.

http://www.derby.org.uk/street/sadler_gate/

Image sources: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7

 Favourites include....

           

    Milk & Honey Deli                                   Brooklyn Social                         Bodega Cantina

            

Design @ 44                                              Old Blacksmith's Yard                    The Dog & Moon 

006. Doughnotts- Also situated down Sadler Gate, this newly opened gem is the place to go for the best doughnuts you will ever eat in your life. Ever.

https://en-gb.facebook.com/Doughnottsofficial/

Image source

007. Cathedral Green- The perfect spot in the city to chill, walk along the River Derwent & past the Council House, hear the chimes of the Cathedral bells, explore the nearby Silk Mill and walk over the Footbridge. 

http://www.derbycathedralquarter.co.uk/CathedralGreen

Image source 

008. Intu Derby- Derby's main shopping haven Intu, formerly known as Westfield, is a modern, sleek, clean & beautifully designed centre filled with brands galore, a luxury cinema, as well as a stylish food court and a wealth of restaurants and cafes to choose from. Oh, and there's now a bowling alley and mini golf to enjoy too. 

http://intu.co.uk/derby

Image source

009. Cathedral Quarter- A beautiful, historic part of town near the Cathedral and Sadler Gate, filled with winding roads, stunning architecture and a mixture of independent and well known businesses to peruse. Highlights include...

-St Mary's Gate

-Visiting the city's two Wetherspoons, The Thomas Leaper & The Standing Order, which stand side by side (yes really)

-Jack Rabbits

-Bennetts Department Store

-The European Restaurant

-Dolce Salato Cafe

-Rowley's Gin Bar

Click here for more info

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010. Pop down to the pub- Derby is renowned for it's real ale scene, and prides itself on having some cracking locals which residents (ie. my Dad) regularly frequent. The Flower Pot is great for weekly live music, Ye Olde Dolphin Inne for being old & haunted & having great festivals, The Exeter Arms for being cosy & lesser known, The Tap for a more diverse social scene, and The Old Bell for being full of rustic charm. 

Image sources: 1,2,3

011. QUAD- For complete creative immersion. This funky shaped building places host to a cinema which shows both current, independent and old school films, gallery spaces for interesting and thought provoking exhibitions, a quirky shop & cafe, talks, festivals, artwork... as does it run lots of educational & social groups too. Well worth a visit!!! 

https://www.derbyquad.co.uk/

Image Source

012. Go Trampolining- Located at Bounce Revolution, opposite the Intu centre, this world of trampolines is so easy to get to, very reasonably priced, suitable for all ages and best of all, it gets you working up a sweat. Cue a post-trampolining Wetherspoons as a reward.

http://bounce-revolution.com/

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013. Revs de Cuba- Spend a glamorous evening drinking cocktails and dancing the night away to Latino music. As is a common theme in Derby, good old Revolution can be found next door.

http://www.revoluciondecuba.com/bar/derby/

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013. Pudding at Kaspa's Dessert Bar- This newly opened franchise is the place to go for pudding. So go. Indulge. And make all your happy dessert filled dreams come true.

http://kaspas.co.uk/

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014. Wander up Friar Gate- Following the road out of the city past Central Library, Friar Gate is another quirky and architecturally stunning street, with lots of nightclubs, bars, restaurants and stunning buildings to admire. Favourites include:

-Mosh Nightclub

-Le Bistrot Pierre

-Lorentes

-Pop World Nightclub

-The Greyhound

-The Distillery

Image source

3 x 5 Transportive Playlists

3 x 5 TRANSPORTIVE PLAYLISTS

Hold your horses dear readers.

Following the success of my first 3 x 5 playlists post, which featured 3 purposely handcrafted playlists to accompany you through key parts of the weekend, I've once again returned to the nifty 3 x 5 formula to create 3 new playlists for you to enjoy.

This time, they focus around 3 key feelings, with each playlist featuring songs that will transport you to a particular emotional concept. We have ELECTRIC SPIRIT, A GOLDEN HAZY SUMMER IN THE DEEP SOUTH, and THE HEARTBREAK EVOLUTION, and each encapsulates a unique and distinct vibe, meaning you can select the playlist that best matches your mood.

The idea for these playlists came about because I was delving through my newly amassed music, and I realised I could pinpoint and connect different songs together. There were links to be drawn. There were narratives, idea, feelings, all of which I could convey, simply by putting certain songs into a collective. And it was almost as if it was meant to be, because I managed to craft these playlists in a matter of minutes, and I'm so happy with the finished result.

As am I so happy to be able to share some of my very favourite songs of the moment with you all. I would tell you my favourites, but one, there's just too many and two, I want you to take a listen and decide that for yourselves....

Happy listening!

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ELECTRIC SPIRIT

001. THE SKY IS A NEIGHBOURHOOD - FOO FIGHTERS
002. WONDERFUL WONDERFUL - THE KILLERS
003. SIT NEX TO ME - FOSTER THE PEOPLE
004. PLIMSOLL PUNKS - ALVVAYS
005. I WANNA PROVE TO YOU - THE LEMON TWIGS

A GOLDEN, HAZY SUMMER IN THE DEEP SOUTH

001. ME & MAGDALENA - THE MONKEES
002. THE LAST DAY OF JUNE, 1934 - AL STEWART
003. WICHITA LINEMAN - GLEN CAMPBELL
004. MARY JANE'S LAST DANCE - TOM PETTY & THE HEARTBREAKERS
005. YOUR SMILING FACE - JAMES TAYLOR


THE HEARTBREAK EVOLUTION 

001. HERE'S THAT RAINY DAY -BOB DYLAN
002. PAIN - THE WAR ON DRUGS
003. YOU'LL FIND - DAN & DRUM
004. TAKE ME BACK - ALICE JEMIMA
005. IN THE MIDDLE - DODIE 

The Art of Design: Christoph Niemann

THE ART OF DESIGN: CHRISTOPH NIEMANN

So the other day something awesome happened. I decided to be adventurous on Netflix for once.

 I've already whizzed through Riverdale (highly recommend you give it a watch, I'm addicted after 1 day, it's cracking), and another really amazing thing I've happened across, is this: Abstract: The Art of Design... series. This 8 part Netflix original focuses on the broadbrush topic of design, honing in on key and contrasting designers who bring different approaches and outlooks to the topic. Each episode is dedicated to one designer, who essentially dictates the entire documentary and makes it into a unique, captivating and creative presentation of who they are, what they do, and why they do it.

The Christoph Niemann episode in particular was a real gem,  (hence my reason for writing this blog post).

A German illustrator, graphic designer and children's author, Christoph studied in Germany before moving to one of his favourite cities, New York, to build his career in the city of a thousand dreams. After receiving the success he deserved, including working for the coveted New Yorker, he moved back to the brilliant, quirky, eclectic Berlin where he now lives with his family.

To delve inside the mind of Christoph Niemann was a real treat because he approaches design in such a different way to me. He's so innovative, meticulous, self-aware, theoretical, and so resolutely invested in every single step of the design process. I loved learning about how he works and how he thinks. Christoph lives and breathes design, and to view the world through his creative lenses made me feel so inspired and re-energised.

What's more, all those beautiful cinematic shots that helped illustrate and construct an idea of Chrisoph's world reminded me of the magic, presence and intelligence of art and design. They are the pillars around which our every day lives revolve, adding such aesthetic beauty, functionality and structure. The world is an artistic mecca, a heady visual feast, a dazzling, seamless masterpiece. And I'd never really appreciated that till now.

As someone who loves art and design, I found it so interesting to get into the head of another creative, and understand what makes them tick. What inspires them. How do they approach creativity. Why do they do what they do and how do they do it? What does it mean to them. And most importantly: can I learn something from them? This series provides you with all this exploration and insight, and in such a creative, compelling way too.

And if you're someone who has a creative streak whirling and sparkling through your veins, I really do believe it's so important to expose yourself to the mind's of other creatives, because it helps you to dream bigger. Grow in creativity. Be open minded to other ways of expressing yourself and conducting yourself. See the world with fresh eyes. And the Abstract... series is the perfect way to do that. Or heck, if you're just looking to indulge in some really stunning, cinematic film making to give those neurotransmitters in your brain an almighty buzz, then get ya'self on Netflix and give Abstract: The Art of Design a go.

http://www.christophniemann.com/

What Happens Next?

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

For most of this year, one of the main things occupying my brain space is this: what does the future hold?

In September I begin my fourth and final year of university, and I can't seem to stop thinking about it.

On the one hand, I'm so happy about finally finishing my degree. I can't wait to go back and see all my friends again, do the things I love, make more cherished memories, try out new things while I can, return to my beloved Manchester, soak up the last of my 18-year-long education and, fingers crossed, graduate with a degree ( a degree!!!). I can't wait to start the next chapter of my life, and have the world at my feet once again. I'm ready for the next adventure. I want to make something of myself, and see what life has in store next. I want to earn some money, see more of the world, gain life experience, be free....

Yet on the other hand, another part of me is absolutely terrified. Terrified about starting fourth year. Doing my dissertation. My final placement. Leaving university behind. Saying goodbye. Receiving the very freedom I seek. And most importantly this: figuring out what comes next.

Because I don't have a bloody clue. And the confusion just seems to get foggier and foggier. And I'm waiting for a sunbeam to strike and illuminate the path I need to take. But when will it come?

Already people are starting to ask me what I plan on doing once university ends, and all I can say is that I have no idea. Throughout university, I've loved asking older years what their plans were one university ended. I longed to hear about what adventures they had planned next, and where their lives were heading. It seemed to exciting and inspiring to me. Yet most times, I was met with 'I don't know', 'I don't have a clue', 'I hate that question', and 'I'm trying not to think about it'. And I didn't understand why.

I didn't understand how they felt, until now.

Because it really is terrifying, doing your final year and then graduating. And I think what scares me most, is that I just don't know where I want my life to go next. Or more like, I can imagine all these things I want to do, areas I want to explore, things I want to learn, places I want to live, people I want to be... and I don't really know where to start. There's too much. And it's overwhelming me. 

I feel like I'm dreaming too big, and yet I also feel like I'm not dreaming big enough at all. 

I feel like I'm doing what I want to do, and being true to myself, and yet I also feel like I'm not. 

I feel like I'm exactly where I'm meant to be, and yet I'm also envisioning at least five more paths I could've, maybe should've, taken. 

I feel like I know myself, and what's right for me, best for me, and yet I also feel like I don't.

I just thought I'd have something figured out by now. That I would know which path to take. But it feels like I'm right back where I was at the end of A Levels, deciding on my future. There were so many spinning plates on the go, and four years later, the same plates are still spinning. None of them smashed along the way. They only spun stronger. And once again, I find myself looking into the melting pot and I don't know what to do next.

Of course part of me knows that everything is going to work out somehow. I need to take it one step at a time. Get through this last year first, before worrying about everything else. Allow myself time to think and explore. Remember that I can be, do, anything that I put my mind to.

But I guess for me, it all boils down to this, and it always has done: do I take a risk, and follow this new selfless path I've carved out for myself. Enter this new industry, profession, specialism. Become a new version of myself, see who I could become and what I could do, and to some extent, go against what comes naturally and innately to me?

Or do I be selfish, and go back to the me that has always been there. Follow the path everyone expected me to take, and are surprised I haven't taken. The path which I maybe should've taken, the one that so naturally speaks to my soul, but I rebelled against. The one that will see me returning to my roots and nurturing them, growing them, because I bailed too soon to know what they could become? 

I have no idea. I really don't. And I don't expect to figure it out anytime soon, and I know that's okay (although I wish I knew the answers already!). But I just wanted to let the web of thought out, because as Shrek once wisely said, it's better out than in. And I will find my way, I know I will. It's just going to take more time than I thought. 

Little Things In London

(the best spontaneous photo I've ever taken!!)

LITTLE THINGS IN LONDON

A few weeks ago I went down to London.

I saw my sister, and her brilliant drama show called Cyrano de Bergerac, starring a phenomenal actor called Soroosh Lavasani. I watched my queen Stevie Nicks, as well as The Lumineers and Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, perform to hundreds of thousands of people on a balmy July evening in Hyde Park. I saw Hammersmith high street aglow from way up high. I took an early tube over to West Ham to meet my old housemate. We had cobs and builders tea, as we pondered our lives and futures in a greasy spoon cafe off Barking Road.

I walked through Aldgate and Brick Lane in the pouring rain with my camera, soaking up the culture and creative energy. I walked through even heavier rain up near Islington, Barbican, Farringdon and Hatton Gardens, munching custard donuts to keep me going. I looked at the BP Portrait Award 2017 entries in the National Portrait Gallery. My sister and I sat in St. Martin-in-the-Fields church and listened to the most incredible, ethereal, magical choir and orchestra practice.

We wandered around the back streets of Covent Garden, and took in the colourful vibrancy of Seven Dials. We stumbled across a £5 pizza place round the corner of Shaftsbury Avenue, and walked down the roads in the evening light. Rain soaked us to the bone, and left us feeling so magical and cosy, ready to snuggle down in our pyjamas in the warmth.

I had a delicious Spoons breakfast, and wondered down Kensington High Street with my parents, past the Olympia and Hammersmith High Street, all the way to Holland Park. We looked at the Dutch Garden, the Kyoto Garden, and the Design Museum. It was bliss. And I took the best photo of my life (see above), merely by chance. Oh, and I also found out I passed my third year of university too.

I had delicious Thai food in a pub called The Latymers. I sat at the top of One New Change shopping centre and watched Wimbledon. And I wandered through the British History Museum, and Hyde Park in the sunshine, with all those beautiful sunny flowers, bobbing boats and friendly ducks and geese...

And on the way, I took all these many, many photos, in an attempt to capture the little details that illustrated and punctuated my adventures. Snapshots of London in her hidden beauty. Quirky bits and pieces, the sights you don't always see. The more I go to London, and the more I explore the city, the more compelled I feel to capture the untold story. And celebrate the sheer wonder and diversity of the many stunning sights you can find in our great capital city.

It fills me with such joy. So much joy.

And so I thought I'd share some of my favourite photographs with you.
Let me know what you think!

Visiting London? Looking for something different?
The Londoner
Visit London
Time Out London Blog
A Lady In London

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