Stepping Out Of Your Comfort Zone

STEPPING OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

I've been wanting to write a post about this topic for quite a while. I've touched upon it numerous times, particularly over the last year, and I've written similar posts to this one too, however as far as I can recall, I haven't exclusively dedicated a post wholly to it. So here we are. Now, I feel, is the right time, the perfect time, because once again this idea, this notion, of stepping out of your comfort zone, has come to be an integral part of my life once again. Learning how to do it in the first place is easily one of the best things I ever did for myself. It's already changed my life in so many ways, and it still continues to change my life now. I can't even begin to list to you all the examples.What I've gained vastly outweighs any potential negatives. Any change that occurs in my life, as a result of stepping out of my comfort zone, is almost always positive. In fact, I can't actually recall a time where stepping out of my comfort zone ended badly. It's one of those things that almost seems to be synonymous with fate, in that stepping out of your comfort zone demands so much of you, that it's almost inevitable that fate will bless and reward you in some way for your efforts. Even if things don't turn out quite as well as you planned, you still gain an experience, a lesson, an 'oh well' as opposed to a 'what if'', and I think that that's pretty incredible.

Having the opportunity to do what scares us, is something that most of us encounter on a regular basis, even if we don't always realise it. There's always a chance to make a change, confront a fear, close your eyes, jump right into the deep end and see what happens. However a lot of the time, it's easier to ignore that chance. Easier to pass it off for a later date, another time, another place. Safer to decline, stay secure in what you know best, hide away. Find a reason to say no. Stepping out of your comfort zone is genuinely hard work. After all, the whole point of the exercise is to go against the grain and discard the comfortable for the initially uncomfortable, and see what happens in the process. I feel like that message is best depicted in the quote and accompanying image in the photo above: a comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing ever grows there. It's only when you leave it behind that you allow the magic to really happen and take hold. It's only then that change can truly begin. So I guess it's a matter of plucking up the courage to break away from what you already know so well, the comforting hand that holds you close, reigns you in, protects you, and launch yourself into the world like an arrow released from a bow into the great unknown, with the aim of meeting that longed for target goal.

When we grow up, I think we all start with a rather select and minute comfort zone that surrounds us. As we experience life, and we mature. As we grow older, wiser, more perceptive. As our minds start to evolve and we begin to find ourselves, that's when our comfort zone begins to change form, size, depth. It expands as we conquer the world little by little, and that's really great. What we know and learn about ourselves and our world, who we choose to surround ourselves with, what we experience, the inevitable waves of change that we ride... all these things form part of the expansion. But I think there comes a point when the growing and the expansion stop being the responsibility of others, and starts becoming your own. The input of other people is especially integral in your early years, but it can only take you so far. People can't always be there pushing you, guiding you, prompting you, rallying for you. I completely agree that we can all help each other out by giving one another a helpful nudge in the right direction, every now and then, or maybe even physically dragging someone out of their comfort zone if needs be, but likewise I think that in order to keep on growing and changing and bettering yourself, the person doing the nudging, the encouraging, the rallying, needs to be you. It's a certainly a mighty fine, life changing skill to have under your belt. Being able to step out of your comfort zone is often the only way to truly instigate and make progress. Change who you are and your life for the better. Keep moving forwards.

I know that over the years I've done my fair share of attempting to step out of my comfort zone, but I feel like the key difference between then and now, is that back then those attempts were mostly out of force and reluctance. There was always someone there to help me, or a lot of the time I didn't have much choice in the matter. If I did choose to willingly leave my comfort zone, I often managed the first step but struggled to take it any further. I'd do the thing that scared me, but then I didn't really know how to manage the consequences of that. Ride those waves of change. I wanted to do things differently, I wanted to leave my comfort zone, but I didn't understand that in order to be successful and get the most of your foray into the unknown, you have to be the one driving yourself forwards. You have to take control and seize the opportunity. It all comes from within, naff as it sounds. Thinking back now, I remember one distinct moment that has always stuck with me, and in some ways has acted like a driving force ever since. The moment when things start to change and click into place. It was the end of year 12 and I was trying to get myself a job. I was always petrified about handing out my CV, making that all important first move, putting myself out there. I swore I didn't have that capacity. Then one day I realised that if I really wanted to get a job, my best chance of doing so was by handing out CV's. So rather reluctantly, I decided I would do it, and I brought one of my best friends along as moral support. To this day I swear she is the reason I got my first job, because to put it simply, she was just amazing. She was rallying me on the whole time, telling me I could do it, urging me to go into any shop with a sign in the window, talk to the staff, enquire about vacancies, slide my CV under doors, or hand it in for future consideration. If I was on my own, I don't think I would've done any of those things. But with her by my side, I found I had the confidence and desire to at least try. And I always remember how all along, she kept saying how she tries to do something that scares her every day. If it scares you, do it. That incredible, simple, life changing mantra.

At the time though, I didn't really quite understand how said mantra actually worked in practice, and if it was any good, but simultaneously I remember being so inspired by it, as did I hugely admire my friend for trying to follow it. My dear friend has always been a go-getter, a fear buster, someone who launches herself into the unknown time and time again, even when she doesn't know what might be waiting on the other side, and she always manages to find the wings to fly. I never used to understand how she did it. It amazed me every single time, but it wasn't till that moment, back in year 12, that I finally started to understand those simple yet important mechanisms underlying everything. That's when I feel I finally learnt her secret, and for some reason, what my dear friend said about doing something scares you every day, or at least confronting the things that scare you, has stuck with me from that moment onwards. It has always been lodged in the back of my mind, refusing to budge, exerting its dominance. Since that day a lot of things have happened in my life, that would not have happened had I not decided to force myself out of my comfort zone. Other people and the strange workings of fate can only change your life so much. To really get the most out of life and the most out of yourself, you are the one who is responsible. You are the one with the magic in your hands. And it's amazing just what you can actually do for yourself. 

If you think about your life as a line graph, a comfort zone is always depicted as a plateau. A flat line going infinitely forwards at the same level without any change or disruption. It's not good, it's not bad, it's just mediocre. It doesn't demand change. Everything is so-so. And that's okay. But if you're always plateauing, you'll never know what more you're capable of. What other heights could you reach. How far you can go. How much more learning and experiencing you can do. You don't know how much better your life could get. You don't know who you could meet.You have no idea about how much underlying, unused potential is waiting to be put to be seized upon and put to good use. It's only when you step out of your comfort zone and instigate change that the plateau tilts upwards 45 degrees and suddenly your life starts moving onwards towards unparalleled and unknown heights. That's when progress is made. That's when the magic really starts. If I hadn't began challenging myself and forcing myself to leave familiar territory, my life as it stands today would not even exist. I would not be here. I don't even know where I would be. I wouldn't have chosen to study my course, and realised that I have a vast wealth of other skills and interests that I never even knew I possessed. I wouldn't have moved to Manchester and gone to university, both of which are choices that have irreversibly changed my life for the better. I wouldn't have made such amazing, irreplaceable new friends. I wouldn't have gained all the random, brilliant experiences that I can recall so fondly now. I wouldn't have tried all those new societies and met all those new people. I wouldn't have done those fantastic volunteering opportunities, work experience, jobs. I wouldn't have done my Spanish exchange, which I still consider to be one of the best weeks of my life. I wouldn't have joined the UoM Korfball team and kept it up, nor would I have applied to be on the blog society committee. I woudn't have started this blog or my online store Bluboca, or applied for my radio show, or participated in SketchoMatic. I wouldn't have started driving lessons and passed my driving test. I wouldn't have got that guy's number or been on that date. I wouldn't have even met the person who changed my life forever, nor would I have gotten closure a few months down the line. There's an awful lot of things that I would not have done. And to put it simply, I would not be who I am now. I would not be where I am now. And that's both scary and exhilarating at the same time.

Even the last few weeks I have been trying to step out my comfort zone, fuelled onwards by the mantra that if something scares me, then I need to crack on with it and do it. And guess what? As always, it has done me the world of good. Progress has been made. Life has become that little bit more wonderful than it already was. Sometimes I think it's utterly bizarre that I am the one who has made most of this possible. Likewise I find it even crazier that I have become this kind of person. Someone who gets on with things. Someone who is confident and brave enough to at least try. Someone who challenges themselves. Who confronts what scares them most. Who actively seeks out experiences that will create an impact. Who feels fear buzzing within her and carries on anyway. I still don't understand how this is me now. It's like I'm a different person to who I was even a year ago, and in many ways I suppose I am. And to tell you the truth, I really don't think I have ever been happier. If someone was to tell you that the key to changing your life for the better, and changing yourself for the better, is simply by stepping out of your comfort zone, doing what scares you most and initiating and embracing the change, you'd think they were crazy. Ridiculous. Taking the absolute Michael. Surely it can't be that simple. But ironically, that's the honest truth. You are the solution to the problem. You are the key to the lock. It's you. It all comes down to you. And don't waste your life thinking you can't do it, that you don't have it in you, because you really do. You are capable. It's likely that you just don't realise it yet. Stepping out of your comfort zone is just that, a step. That's all it takes. One step. One step in the right direction. And you'd be absolutely amazed at what you find when you do. 

"BEING FEARLESS ISN'T ABOUT BEING 100% UNAFRAID. IT'S BEING TERRIFIED BUT YOU JUMP ANYWAY"- Taylor Swift