This Year

THIS YEAR

Hello everybody, and happy 2017 too! I still can't believe it's no longer 2016, but I'm so happy to welcome in this new year. When I see 2017 on the little toolbar at the bottom of my laptop, I inexplicably feel better just by the addition of those two digits. It seems right somehow. Even a couple of minutes after midnight on new years day, I felt overwhelmingly excited about 2017 and the year ahead, and I couldn't explain why. It just felt like something in my brain clicked into place, and I suddenly had this desire to live, travel, have fun, learn new things, explore, do what makes me happy, spread love into the world, and take everything on head first. Maybe that's just what happens when you're in your twenties, and this was a delayed reaction. I don't know. But it felt like a whirlwind of energy just catalysed inside of me, ready to be put to use.

 My new years eve was spent with family and family-friends, just like last year, and it was a lovely, wonderful, laughter-filled affair. The hour before midnight was spent talking about fate and co-incidence, a conversation so engrossing we only just made it for the 10 second countdown. And the hours after midnight were spent singing and dancing to old classics on You Tube, and drinking leftover prosecco. The whole night filled my heart and soul to the brim, and for some reason I felt incredibly appreciative of everything that had happened in my life, up to that point. If you ready my previous post, you'll probably already get the jist of how I'm feeling about last year, this year, and life in general, and nothing has really changed in the last four days or so. I'm still buzzing about everything, and I really can't wait to get on with living my life.

So to see in the new year, I thought I'd do a little list about some of the things I hope to do, because I realised that this year, I want to focus on being the architect of my life and my happiness. I want to continue building up my life and myself, into what I always dreamed and hoped they would become. I want to embrace that Kyoko Escamilla quote that summed up how to live your twenties, and just have fun, be a little selfish, and seek out the possibility and wonder in the world. And all these things, they are the quintessential and infinite way of youth, and I am blessed to find myself steadily getting lost within the midst of it all.

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HMMMMMMM

001. Double check I've locked the toilet door. Very important.

002. Expand on my cactus collection, which currently stands at the grand total of 1 (sorry Freddie).

003. Learn more songs to play on my guitar.

004. Start taking books out the library again, because I miss my little visits. And ideally try and give less aesthetically pleasing books a chance too.

005. Change up the colour of my hair a little bit, and see what lies beyond the realms of dark brown.

006. Reign in the sarcasm because sometimes I overdo the sass.

007. Remember what is most important in life, and use this knowledge to guide me.

008. Figure out how to make mash potato. I don't understand why it's so hard.

009. Take on some new volunteering opportunities so I can help other people, and also grow some more as a person.

010. Make a new IG account for my art, so I can start getting it out there into the world. And also figure out where I want to take my art, and what I want to do with it.

011. Start to think about what comes next after uni, and begin piecing all my ideas together.

012. Maintain my relationships with friends and family, and make sure they all know how much I bloody love them!

013. Listen to my body more when it comes to food and drink. It's actually pretty good at telling me it doesn't want that leftover millionaire shortbread cheesecake and it actually wants cucumber instead (not that I listened though).

014. Continue to push myself out of my comfort zone. If something scares me, do it.

015. Finish watching Gilmore Girls (and then probably watch it again). Also, hello Girls season 6!

016. Work on controlling my anxiety by deep breathing, doing things that relax me, and using my new-found perspective and experiences, because everything, literally every little thing, is going to be ok.

017. Curb the biscuit spread addiction.

018. Use some of my savings to travel somewhere again, whether in the UK or abroad, and photograph, draw, read, walk around, and appreciate all the little, beautiful things.

019. Try not to spontaneously combust when I see Stevie Nicks live.

020. Spend every day of summer fangirling, because hello I've been waiting 4 u since September 2016.

021. Hold on tight to this new belief in myself and my abilities, and use it to keep myself moving onwards and upwards.

022. Continue to practise my writing, and seek out further opportunities to use it.

023. Try to keep on putting good back into the world, in any way I can.

024. Accept that some days I will feel a bit shite, and that's okay. It's the way the world works, a perfect mixture of good and bad, and the important thing is that I overcome it and keep on going.

025. Think about ways that I can share my love of music with the world.

026. Try and be braver when it comes to romantic love, whether that be accepting it, showing it, giving it, pursuing it. I think it's time to stop being so afraid.