FAMILY
When I think about this year, and what I have learnt from it, the one thing that overrides everything else is this: the importance of family. It's not to say that I never appreciated my family till now, but I think this year has made me really, truly, fully realise how lucky I am to have my family. I can't convey to you how many times I have thought to myself about how lucky I am to have my Mum, my Dad, my sister. My Nan and Grandad. My Uncles, Aunties, and cousins. How many times I've looked at my family and felt my heart swell with love and gratitude. How many times I've walked taller, held my head higher, and smiled to myself, after taking a second to feel appreciative of the family I have surrounding me, lifting me up, there to catch me if I fall, that love me unconditionally (even when I'm being a cheeky bugger or a mardy bum). It is truly remarkable.
And we aren't perfect. Far from it. And we all have our little quirks, and the things that piss each other off, as do we have the qualities that make us so valued and loved. But all those things make us who we are. They define and shape our family. When I was growing up, I took it for granted that my Mum was my Mum, Dad was my Dad, and so on. I took it for granted that I had my particular family, and I took for granted what they did for me. It's only as I've matured a bit, and since I've been living away from home, that I've started to view my family, and the concept of family, in a different way. Family isn't just a series of interconnected biological relations, or the labels we use to define our emotional relations to one another. I know it's the most cliche phrase out there, but it's true that family is way, way more than that. It's the people who are there when the sun sets, and the dust settles, and everything else fades away. It's the people who love you inexplicably and completely and eternally.
One of the things I love most about my family, is that very fact that we aren't perfect. We wind each other up. We speak our minds, for better or for worse. We talk about god knows what at the dinner table. We take the mick out of each other. We upset each other. We argue like mad. We can be grumpy and mardy and moany. Amazing things happen to us. Sad things happen to us. Unfortunate things happen to us. Sometimes we fall apart and the pieces of our puzzle don't fit together. Sometimes we say and do things that we don't mean. Sometimes we're selfish. Sometimes we rock the boat without meaning to. Sometimes we take it a step too far, and we wonder how we will ever get past this moment. But that's just it. We always do.
Our family is a safe space. We all love each other so much that it's impossible for us to close our hearts to one another. Our innate instincts are to forgive, to love, to accept, to care, to hold onto one another. And everyone in our family has a place, a reason, a role. Everyone is welcomed, and we all come together and meet somewhere in the middle. Family is fluid. When someone is weak, everyone else is strong. When someone falls, we come together to pick them back up. We become what each other needs. Who we are is an ever changing motion, and I think it's so beautiful how families do that. How we never stay the same, for we're too busy reacting to one another and doing whatever it is we need to do, to keep our bonds intact.
Every day of our lives we grow together. We morph into newer, better versions of ourselves, and even though we change, the core of who we are remains stable. And in an ever-changing world, it's a comfort to have these important things remain. But even then, our beloved family members won't be around forever, a fact that becomes all too poignant when the news is reporting what seems to be an endless continuum of deaths. We never know what's around the corner. Or sometimes we're lucky enough to be given a heads up, and the reminder that the people we love won't always be here. So we really must enjoy our time together whilst we can. Tell people you love them. Go on adventures. Do the most mundane things in their company, simply so that you can spend time with them. Laugh. Cry. Hold them close. Every moment we have is so precious.
I don't think anybody has the perfect family, and I don't think there will ever be a definition of the perfect family. Family isn't meant to be perfect. Family is a miracle. A blessing. A strange old conglomeration of different people. A reminder of what is most important in this world. Whether it is the family you are born into, or the family you go onto create. Family teaches you what it really means to love and care for another person, and what it feels like to be loved in return. Family shows you how to laugh, smile, be selfless. Family are the people who enjoy life's most beautiful, precious moments alongside you. Family teaches you about the world, and the tools you need to make your mark within it. Family is a place where you will always belong. Family is a place to grow, become a better person, and figure out who you want to be.
Sometimes when I'm with my family, I look at them and I think how amazing it is that out of all the millions and billions of people who have lived on this planet, past and present, we somehow managed to find each other amongst it all. We all managed to exist in the same time and space. And we decided to stick together throughout the duration of our lives. Be the constant in each other's ever changing world. To love one another. Care for one another. Be there for one another. It;s just incredible. Some things in this life never cease to amaze me, and this is one of them.
Every day of our lives we grow together. We morph into newer, better versions of ourselves, and even though we change, the core of who we are remains stable. And in an ever-changing world, it's a comfort to have these important things remain. But even then, our beloved family members won't be around forever, a fact that becomes all too poignant when the news is reporting what seems to be an endless continuum of deaths. We never know what's around the corner. Or sometimes we're lucky enough to be given a heads up, and the reminder that the people we love won't always be here. So we really must enjoy our time together whilst we can. Tell people you love them. Go on adventures. Do the most mundane things in their company, simply so that you can spend time with them. Laugh. Cry. Hold them close. Every moment we have is so precious.
I don't think anybody has the perfect family, and I don't think there will ever be a definition of the perfect family. Family isn't meant to be perfect. Family is a miracle. A blessing. A strange old conglomeration of different people. A reminder of what is most important in this world. Whether it is the family you are born into, or the family you go onto create. Family teaches you what it really means to love and care for another person, and what it feels like to be loved in return. Family shows you how to laugh, smile, be selfless. Family are the people who enjoy life's most beautiful, precious moments alongside you. Family teaches you about the world, and the tools you need to make your mark within it. Family is a place where you will always belong. Family is a place to grow, become a better person, and figure out who you want to be.
Sometimes when I'm with my family, I look at them and I think how amazing it is that out of all the millions and billions of people who have lived on this planet, past and present, we somehow managed to find each other amongst it all. We all managed to exist in the same time and space. And we decided to stick together throughout the duration of our lives. Be the constant in each other's ever changing world. To love one another. Care for one another. Be there for one another. It;s just incredible. Some things in this life never cease to amaze me, and this is one of them.
And I know not so great things have happened to me, and they will continue to happen to me in future. After all, Ronan Keating wasn't lying when he said that life is a rollercoaster. But knowing that I have had the family I have. That I was lucky enough to grow up in this family, and that I have known all these wonderful, wonderful people. Knowing that the tapestry of who I am has my family woven into it, and that my heart will always be full of their love. Well, it just makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world, and for the rest of my life I will always be grateful for that peculiar alignment and twist of fate, that gave me my beautiful, mad, bonkers, hilarious, frustrating, gorgeous, gibing, loving family.
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