10 Things I'm Loving Right Now

10 THINGS I'M LOVING RIGHT NOW

The last few days or so have been a little bit crazy for me. I seem to be here, there and everywhere and though I'm not complaining at all in the slightest, as I love being busy, it is nice to finally have the time to process everything I've seen and done. I've been reading lots, watching films, seeing friends and family, listening to lots and lots of music, drawing, baking, volunteering, getting lots of blog inspiration, experiencing new things, exploring new places across the country as well as visiting places I already adore too. Lots of things have been happening and it's just the way I like things to be. I can be rather restless at times, always in pursuit of new things to do, see, learn, explore, inspire me, stimulate my mind, ignite my creativity, so even though I love those lazy days as much as the next person, nothing contents me more than when I'm being the human equivalent of a busy bee. So with that, I thought I'd share with you the top ten things I've been loving this last week or so, just to give you a flavour of what's been going on in my world lately and to remind myself of the wonderful things I've experienced lately. It's a right mix match of things, but all have been some what significant and special to me, or have impacted me in some way. And I can't wait to get back to regular posting next week too, so keep your eyes peeled as I've got some fab things to share with you lovely, lovely people!  

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WHAT I'M LOVING...

001. Afternoon Tea

For my ma's 50th birthday last week, we took her to the zany, brilliant sketch in London for afternoon tea as a special birthday surprise. Having read about it on the wonderful Ellie's Favourite Things a while ago, I thought it would be the perfect way to spoil my ma and show her how much we love her. I won't say too much about our experience for now, as I plan on doing a separate post vair soon, but what I will say is that though it did cost a bit, that afternoon tea was one of the best things I've ever done in my life. Hence my love for afternoon tea is now sky high, having never experienced it before, and so every time the clock reaches 4, 5 o'clock, I have to resist the urge to whack out the finger sandwiches, the delicate little cakes, the endless cups of tea and have afternoon tea all over again. Us Brits know how to do it right!!!

002. The lights and buzz of the city

As you know I went to London the other day. Every time I go, I always begin by feeling overwhelmed by everything. The cars, the people, the noise, the sheer size of the city, the fast pace of life. But by the time I leave, I always end up feeling so inspired, refreshed, alive, revitalised, creative and excited about life. The city always ends up stealing my heart. This photo was taken on Monday evening, on one of the many bridges that cross the Thames. We were walking across the bridge at dusk, the sky a rain soaked grey, the wind soaring past my face, traffic racing beside me, and I looked out to see London expanding out on the horizon around me. The gherkin, Big Ben, the Shard, the London Eye and countless other buildings as far as the eye could see, all illuminated in the dark sky by a sea of golden lights. It was an entirely average day, an average sight I suppose for many people too, and yet there was something so magical, breathtaking, dazzling, electric, alive about it. You wouldn't wish to be anywhere else except there.The city stretching out before you like that with all the possibility, life, electricity wrapped up within it, and you realise you're a part of it all too. Right there within the heart of it, the city is yours for the taking... It's magical.

003. The impending arrival of autumn

Although it is still resolutely summer, and we should right now, in theory, be experiencing the hottest weather of the year (still waiting for that to happen), all I can think about is autumn. And much to my delight, over the last couple of days I've noticed how the leaves are starting to turn gorgeous shades of bronze, gold, ruby red, terracotta, meaning my favourite season is now just around the corner! In my opinion, no season is better than autumn. That cosy, warm, beautiful autumnal feeling. The dark nights, big coats, patterned scarves, roast dinners, puddings and custard, the Bake Off final, new beginnings, new year. Lights, love, friends, family, cute things, walks in the park, boots, red noses, endless cups of tea, the warm colours that surround you, the excitement of winter to follow. I bloody love autumn and I just cannot wait to experience my favourite season all over again.

004. Bridget Jones's Diary, Her, Calendar Girls

The last couple of weeks I've watched some rather great films, some by chance and some from that film list I told you about a few weeks ago. These three are the top three right now, probably until I watch Roman Holiday again or get round to watching all the other films that I want to see! I watched Bridget Jones with my friends the other night and it was wonderfully funny and uplifting as always. I relate to Bridget on so many levels, heck, if you want to know what I'm like in real life, think Bridget Jones but with better cooking and you're most of the way there. I love this film for many reasons, but most of all because it gives me hope if Bridget can find her happy ending, maybe one day I will too. Her was a film I read about in the paper last year, and the concept sounded so quirky and different that I knew I just had to watch it, especially as it stars the crazy gorgeous Joaquin Phoenix too. It's about a man who falls in love with his computer operating system Samantha, which unlike operating systems now, has an identity as well as the ability to speak and think for herself. It sounds bizarre but it's so thought provoking and unique- definitely worth a watch! And lastly I stumbled across the brilliant Calendar Girls last weekend by chance, and decided to give it a go. Starring the incredible likes of Helen Mirren, Julie Walters, Penelope Wilton, Celia Imrie, aka. the very cream of British acting, the film was so wonderful and moving from start to finish. It left me wishing I firstly lived in Yorkshire, and secondly that I was best mates with Helen Mirren.

005. Memphis, The Musical

My sis is obsessed with musicals, hence why as a result, I have been very lucky in that through her, I've been able to see lots of different musicals too. Memphis is a musical that we all went to see for my mum's birthday, and honestly I think it just might be the best musical I've ever seen. I didn't know what to expect when we went, but it was just crazy, crazy good from start to finish. The music, the lights, the storyline, the sets, the dancing, the characters, the live band on the stage, the Shaftesbury Theatre itself... and don't even get me started on Beverly Knight and Matt Cardle in the lead roles. Both were insanely talented, such momentous vocal talents, fabulous acting ability and being able to watch them was an absolute honour. However for some rather absurd reason Memphis is closing soon, so even if my gushing hasn't convinced you go, go, go see this fabulous musical before it closes!! And with tickets starting from only £20, it's so, so worth it!

006. Audrey Hepburn: Portraits of an Icon Exhibition, at the National Portrait Gallery

I've been wanting to go to this exhibit since late last year, when I first read about it on the Daily Mail Online. I didn't think I'd be able to get to London to see it, however in a twist of fate, my Mum decided to go to London for her 50th so our trip coincided with the showing of the exhibition. On the day we went, we got up super early and queued outside the NPG in the rain for forty five minutes till it opened, and luckily we managed to bag tickets (£9 for adults, £7.50 for children and concessions). The Audrey Hepburn Exhibition didn't disappoint in the slightest. Seeing all the different photographs of Audrey, from her childhood to her final years, as well as accompanying information about her life, was a true privilege. Audrey was such a phenomenal, beautiful, wise, kind, intelligent, loving woman, an inspiration to us all, something that comes across so strongly through the exhibition. I loved seeing all the different photography, the references to Dior, Roman Holiday, Vogue, the different fashions and hairstyles she adopted throughout her life, and upon leaving I felt this desire to live a life inspired by Audrey. I wanted to be more graceful, more elegant, more sophisticated, do more good in the world, be a nice, caring, giving person, embrace my femininity, enjoy being a young woman, make something of myself and live a life I can be proud of. It sounds crazy, but that's the effect of the magical Audrey Hepburn, and if you love Audrey too, and happen to find yourself in London, then I strongly urge you to pay a visit.

007. Feeling creative

Walking around London, as I said, is something I always find super inspiring. When I was stuck for something to do, I decided to walk from Tottenham Court Road down to Spitalfields Market, taking in all the beautiful architecture, the buzz of the city, the different people passing by, the changes of scenery, wandering down different roads in exploration, admiring the beauty and vibrancy that surrounded me. It was so much fun, and I really do believe that walking is the best way to truly experience a city in all its glory. My creative juices were very much alive and stimulated during my visit. The architecture around Holborn, the endless books in Foyles bookstore, the artwork and photography in the various art galleries I visited, the artwork on the streets and buildings of East London, the quirky shops, the lights of the city, the various fashion, the music I heard here and there... all of it was so irresistible to me. I couldn't wait to create. It was so brilliant, feeling that urge to unleash all this brimming creativity inside of me. My mind was alive with all these ideas, thoughts, things I could do, anything and everything felt possible, and when I get those surges of creativity, it feels like fuel for my soul. I love it.

008. The people I'm surrounded by

The older and wiser I get, the more and more I come to love, appreciate and value the people I'm lucky enough to be surrounded by, or have chosen to surround myself with. It's not so much that I didn't feel these feelings towards them before, it's just that now I find myself feeling increasingly thankful that I have all these people in my life. That I have the best, most loving, bonkers, amazing family who love and welcome me unconditionally. The old friends who have always been by my side all these years, navigating the ups and downs of growing up together with me, who I would be lost without. The new friends I've found and made, who've brought things to my life I didn't even realise I was missing and who mean so, so much to me. The friends I've been lucky enough to welcome back into my life again, our friendship only strengthened by the passage of time. Every day I feel so lucky that I have all these amazing people in my life, but this week definitely more than most.

009. The beauty and peacefulness of the countryside and sea
The other weekend the fam and I hopped in the car and had a quick two day break in Devon. I've been going to Devon at least once a year ever since I was a baby, It's such a special place to me, a second home, but sometimes I think I fall guilty of taking that beautiful, beautiful place for granted. So this time I went, I made a conscious effort to really appreciate everything I saw and everywhere we went, especially as I normally live absolutely nowhere near the sea. This particular photo was taken when we went for a cliff top walk at a place called Berry Head, near Brixham, at the moment when I realised how grateful I was to be in such a stunning place. We were right on the edge of the country, overlooking the pure blue sea stretching out to the horizon and beyond. The sky was clear, no clouds in sight, the sun was softly shining, the grass and flowers adorning the cliffs were blowing gently in the breeze, people were sat on the rocks gazing out into the distance. It was so calm, peaceful, tranquil, beautiful. I had no worries or cares, I felt a million miles away from my every day life, and I felt so incredibly lucky that get to I live in a country as amazing as this. When there's so much conflict going on in the world, to find that little pocket of calm amongst it all was a true joy.  

010. Before I Go To Sleep, SJ Watson

The other day I was wondering what to read. I was bored with the books I already have, having read most of them at least three times over. I wanted something new, different, good. It was as I was searching that my mum handed me this book, Before I Go To Sleep, seeing if I'd like to read it as she'd read it herself and thought it was rather good. She said it was a psychological thriller, a mystery kind of book, aka. the kind of genres I normally avoid for some peculiar, absurd reason. I didn't plan on giving it a go initially, but I was aware that Nicole Kidman starred in the film version of the novel, so I decided it couldn't be that bad. So I read a couple of pages, just to see what it was like, and obviously I loved it. In fact, once I started it I just couldn't put it down, and four days later I'd finished. I was left speechless by the sheer talent that had gone into producing this brilliant, addictive, deceiving, extremely thought provoking, cleverly written mind game of a book. To give you a brief summary, the book is about a middle aged woman named Christine who gets amnesia for reasons she can't remember, and loses her memory every night before she goes to sleep. So every day her husband Ben fills in the blanks for her, however things start to change when Christine's doctor starts helping her regain some memory and urges her to write a daily journal. It's only then that we start to realise things aren't all as they seem, and that those who Christine trusts might not be telling her the whole truth... It's a really interesting storyline and subject matter, and I loved how unpredictable the novel was, as well as the questions it raises about the importance of memory. Although I love those books that are somewhat predictable and easy to read, my favourites have always been those that grip me so completely, draw me right in and make me think, make me see things from a new perspective, change me in some shape or form. This is one of those books, and irrespective of your favourite book genre, give this amazing book a go. I promise you it won't disappoint!  

And on an ending note, I'd love to share with you the song I'm absolutely luuuurrrvviinng right now, Something by The Beatles. Enjoy!

Homemade Mexican Inspired Soup

HOMEMADE MEXICAN INSPIRED SOUP

The other day I had an overwhelming urge to make soup. You might remember that many months ago whilst I was at uni, I decided to be brave and make my first ever soup, after never daring to do so previously. That little dabble in new cooking territory ultimately proved to be pretty successful, and my surprise at finding I could actually make a rather nice soup should have spurred me on to make even more soup. Unfortunately that didn't happen, however three months on the urge to make soup eventually found me again, and I decided that, with fond memories of my first successful soup making experience firmly in my mind, I would push the boat out once more and create another soup. So when lunchtime rolled around, I headed to the kitchen and had a good old think about what soup I would make. Having watched Bake Off a couple of days before, where one contestant made a bread inspired by the Mexican flavours like coriander and cumin, I thought that seeing as I also adore Mexican cuisine, I too would take inspiration from those Mexican flavours, and incorporate them into a soup. And that's how my surprisingly delicious homemade soup came to be.

Initially I began by googling recipes, but I find following instructions a bit tedious and overwhelming, what with all those steps and seemingly infinite ingredient list, plus the recipes I found didn't really inspire me either. So I decided that with my first year of university being quite a good crash course in cooking 101, my knowledge of flavours and cooking was good enough for me to try and experiment for myself. I would make my own soup, and just like a mad inventor with a glistening twinkle in their eye, the thought of what I might possibly end up creating and having the freedom to create had me venturing around the kitchen in wonder. With my Mexican theme as a basis, I looked in the fridge and numerous cupboards to take stock of what we had in, and ideas began formulating in my mind. Half an hour later and I was sitting down to a hot bowl of soup and writing down my recipe so that I could share it with you lovely people. I even contemplated calling up my mum too, to tell her I'd made this really nice soup, but ultimately decided against it... I've tried to write my recipe as simply as possible below, and rest assured although it does look a tad overwhelming at first, don't let this put you off because it's actually so simple, easy and quick to make! And should you too experience an overwhelming soup urge, and decide to make my soup, I truly hope that you love it as much as I do (as that would be rather soup-er) *wink wink, nudge nudge*.

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HOW TO MAKE IT...

Serves 2

INGREDIENTS:

1 carrot

1 sweet potato

1/2 pepper

1/2 courgette

1 onion

2 garlic cloves

4 olives (optional)

1/2 avocado (optional)

3 tbsp coconut milk (optional)

1 can tomatoes

2 tsp tomato purée
1 chicken stock cube

SPICES

Pinch of salt & pepper

1tsp medium chilli 

1tsp paprika

1tsp cumin

1tsp coriander

1tsp tumeric

1tsp red cayenne pepper (optional)

METHOD

1. Cut the sweet potato, carrot, courgette, pepper onion and olives into small cubes.

2. In a saucepan boil the carrots and potato together in boiling water until soft. Meanwhile in a saucepan fry the onions, courgettes and peppers together in olive oil until lightly brown. Then add the garlic and cook for a minute or two more.

3. Drain the carrots and potatoes, then add the frying pan contents to the saucepan.

4. Next add the canned tomatoes, tomato purée, stock cube, avocado, olives and all spices to the saucepan, followed by a dash of boiled water.

5. Turn on the hob to a very low heat and stir all the ingredients together. Allow them to simmer gently for ten minutes or so, checking on and stirring the soup every couple of minutes. When it starts to boil or it looks done, turn the heat off.

6. Leave to cool for a minute or so, and then pour into bowls, serve with bread and enjoy the interesting and delicious mix of flavours!

So You Failed Your Driving Test...

SO YOU FAILED YOUR DRIVING TEST...

Yesterday I had my practical driving test. After learning for nearly a year and a half, on and off, yesterday was my big day. The moment of truth. Time to prove to not only myself but the driving test examiners also, that I could do it. Needless to say, as you probably knew instantly from the title, this did not happen, and unfortunately I didn't pass. Now I'm not going to beat around the bush here and say that everything was fine, that I handled it with dignity and emotional maturity, that I smiled, nodded my head and that was that. Because the fact of the matter is I cried. I succumbed to my human emotions, that overwhelming natural response and I cried my little heart out. I only managed to hold it together and maintain my composure for so long, just enough for my lovely, lovely examiner to leave the car actually, before the flood gates started to open. The emotional tidal wave was released upon my poor driving instructor who couldn't understand why I did what I did and subsequently failed. And guess what? I didn't stop crying for two and a half hours. That nice gushing facebook status complete with matching pass certificate didn't happen. The thanking my driving instructor for everything she's done, for helping me do something I never thought I could, didn't happen (although hopefully one day soon it will). The calling my family and friends to let them know the good news didn't happen. But what did happen was I came back to an empty house and proceeded to sit in various spots of the house, all on my own, in need of a hug and crying a seemingly infinite amount of tears for quite a long time till I went to see my best friends, and we made cake together. And from that point on things started to get considerably better.

Now you might wonder why I'm telling you all this, and I understand it isn't the nicest thing to read. Most people keep these things quiet after all. But I felt it was really, really important, and a really good idea if I spoke up, because if what I write helps even one person feel a little bit better and less alone, should the same thing happen to them, then that will make this all so worth it. I want to share my experience in the hopes that it helps make a difference to the life of someone, somewhere in this world. Get rid of the taboo and say that it really is okay to fail. It isn't the end of the world. You will overcome this minor set back and you will be just fine. So let me share a little bit of my story with you first. For me taking this test had to happen because 1) I was ready to take it, and I knew it, and 2) I go back to university in a couple of weeks time, and if I didn't do it now then when would I ever really do it? I don't know. But I had that pressure riding on me, and that's what pushed me to take my test ultimately. It was important for my career, I had to try and pass before going back to uni, and my confidence and driving ability were finally good enough for me to at least try and take my test. But honestly, even the night before my test I was still nervous that I wouldn't be able to do it. I wasn't hungry for it like other people I knew. The thought of passing and actually having to drive on my own still scared me. I was still questioning whether I was actually really ready for it still, or was I forcing myself into it on the hopes of passing on a whim, and just getting it all out the way. Plus even if I had passed, I wouldn't be driving or getting my own car for another three years or so.

Two weeks before my test I failed my mock test, and that really threw me. It shook me up completely and had me questioning was I really ready to do this, and all these doubts were swarming my head. It was horrible. But I cried it all out, picked myself back up again and put my all into overcoming the setbacks, correcting where I'd gone wrong and mentally preparing myself for what was to come. Even today, after dancing and singing around the empty house for an hour to get rid of the nervous energy, I was feeling good. Ready. Confident. Even when I was waiting for my name to be called at the test centre I was feeling pretty good. Might as well crack on with it and give it a go. How I felt surprised me even. But as you can probably guess, it all went a bit tits up from there. I consider myself to be a good, safe, capable driver now, but one thing I have always suffered with is my confidence and self belief, as well as my frustrating overthinking, and that's ultimately what let me down. As soon as I walked out that door and the lovely examiner asked me the 'tell me, show me' questions, I was panicking because for some reason my English language abilities failed me and I just couldn't understand the question. He worded it in a way that just threw me, and I knew I answered the question wrong, but from that point on I was convinced I'd failed. And I was frustrated because I knew I might mess up, but I hadn't expected to mess up so soon, before I even got in the car. Not to mention this was then followed by an episode where I just couldn't figure out how to open the car door for some reason. Oh the joys of driving.

The rest of the test I was blighted by all this negativity in my mind. I felt I wasn't doing myself justice. I was critiquing every move I made. I thought the examiner felt sorry for me. Every time we pulled over I was convinced he'd tell me I'd failed. Heck, I thought I'd failed before I'd even begun. I was frustrated, annoyed, a little bit upset. I'm also a bit of a control freak, though I don't like to admit it, and it felt like I was losing my grip on everything. I'd lost control of the situation and didn't know how to regain it, and naturally that didn't sit too well with me. But the irony is that all the time I thought I'd already failed, for the first ten to fifteen minutes of the test, I actually hadn't failed. Made a few minor mistakes, yes, but I hadn't actually failed. I still had a fighting good chance, unbeknown to me. And I only ended up actually getting my serious major, the thing that failed me, because of all that negative thinking I'd been doing in the first place. I failed today because I believed I already had so strongly, that negativity was brewing so vividly, that it actually ended up coming true. I set myself up for my own downfall, and although that should probably annoy me, it doesn't because it proves to me that I failed not because of my driving ability, but because of my negative thought pattern. At the end of the day, I only got three minors, plus my one serious, and that was enough for me to know in terms of driving ability, I am ready to do this. It's my confidence I need to get into gear (pardon the pun). Controlling my thinking patterns, overriding that overthinking, cutting the negative thoughts, stop letting it affect my driving, believe in myself and my abilities. Confidence is something I've struggled with all my life, but you know what, yesterday made me realise that I'm just so tired of letting it hold me back. I don't want my lack of confidence and belief in myself to hold me back anymore. From doing myself justice. Proving what I know to be true. 

I didn't deserve to pass yesterday granted, because what I did was stupid and potentially dangerous, and I've already learnt from it. It was the wake up call I needed. My confidence issues can't carry on affecting my driving like this. It has to stop.  But I know, I know that although I didn't deserve to pass yesterday, I do deserve to pass my driving test. I can do this! Heck, even my examiner said it. He told me I needed to come back and get this test sorted, done, dusted, and if he believes in me, if he knows I can do it, then who am I to question that? So after having a good old cry and panic, worrying till I physically couldn't take any more, crying on the phone to my mum and messaging my driving instructor to apologise, I decided to once again fight back and try again. Ever tried. Ever failed. Get back up. Try again. That kind of thing. I won't let this episode bring me down and get in my way, although I sure as heck am going to learn from it. It sounds crazy but I'm actually so happy that this happened. Passing my test yesterday wasn't meant to be, but learning and experiencing all these things to help me be a better driver and get my confidence finally sorted, definitely was. So I'm going to re-do my test, maybe in a few weeks, maybe a few months time. Try again. What will be will be. But I know that my time will come, and I know and fully believe that I can do this now. It's time to achieve what I set out to do all those months ago, and I won't let anything hold me back any more.

So with that, I thought it would be a good idea to share with you guys some of the important things I learnt yesterday, in the hopes that they might help you, reassure you and make you feel better. And if your driving test is coming soon, I wish you a massive good luck! Just believe in yourself and your abilities and you're giving yourself the absolute best chance of succeeding!

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WHAT FAILURE TAUGHT ME...

1) Don't be afraid or ashamed to cry it all out. It feels really good to get it all out the system. Once you've done that then you're freeing yourself up to wipe the slate clean, draw a line over what happened, get back up and start afresh. 

2) Likewise don't be ashamed to tell people you failed and don't suffer on your own. There's no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed. You think it'll be better if nobody knows but actually, you'll feel so much better just by talking to people, sharing how you feel and allowing them to help you.

3) You should be so proud of yourself for having the courage and determination to give your test a go. And remember that just because you failed, that doesn't mean you're a bad driver. You're a bloody amazing driver actually. You just need to sort a few things out is all. This wasn't your time, but that is okay. Your time will come. Things happen for a reason, so figure out what those reasons are and use them to help you succeed in the future. 

4) Obviously you've failed for a reason, so look at what the examiner says, find the root of where you went wrong and use it to help you, learn from it, fix things that need fixing. It might be something that needs practice or adjusting, it might be a mistake you just need to learn from and remember for next time, it might be your confidence or it might be something else entirely.

5) If your driving instructor thinks you're ready to try for your test, then go for it and see what happens. Don't hold back. Give it a go. It's worth at least trying because if you pass, you've passed for a reason and clearly you were ready, as well as capable of being a good, safe driver. And if you fail, then the test will highlight exactly what it is that's stopping you passing, and it might surprise you where your faults actually lie.

6) Once you've stopped crying, go make a cup of tea of coffee, get on the DVSA website and start looking at when you can redo your test. Get back out there and put things right. Put the past behind you, don't succumb to negative thinking, and give yourself another chance. 

7) If you find that it's another two months till you can retake, don't panic like I did because it does you absolutely no good. Stop thinking the world is against you because it's not. Instead, you can 1) book a test a few months later and take it then, 2) book a test a few months later but keep checking for cancellations which you can take instead, or 3) keep checking and checking the DVSA site. Although I'm yet to find a cancellation, and I know I might not get lucky, numerous people have told me that cancellations do come up. You just have to be persistent, keep refreshing that page, check a few times a day and act quick when something comes up. Apparently the evenings are a good time to check, especially Friday evening, as can you call up the DVSA to find out more information which might help you secure a new test date. 

8) Don't freak out thinking it's going to be ages till you resit, and worry that you're going to forget everything you've spent the money and last few weeks on perfecting in that time. For starters, if you're a good driver who is ready to pass, then all those driving skills and mentalities will now be ingrained within you for life, never to be forgotten. You won't be forgetting any time soon. And secondly, you have to accept that what will be will be. If you manage to resit soon after failing, then that's great. But likewise if you have to wait a few months, then that's okay too. Your time and chance will come. Don't you worry.

9) I know I already said this, but it's so important that you talk to someone, anyone. It's awful sitting there suffering and hurting all on your own. After you fail your emotions are prone to getting a bit out of control, and with no-one there to calm you down or comfort you, you might find yourself descending further than normal. It's also a confusing time because you're not sure what comes next, who to turn to, what to make of everything, you don't want to bother anyone but you really, really need someone right now. And if you're like me, you think your driving instructor must hate you too. But don't think that because they really don't. They're behind you 100%. So tell your instructor how you feel, what went wrong and get advice. Call your mum, dad, sister, brother, boyfriend, girlfriend, grandparents, whoever, and cry your little heart out, let their words and advice comfort and guide you. Don't suffer any more than you have to! Be nice to yourself.

10) It doesn't matter if your driving instructor believes in you. It doesn't matter if the examiner believes in you, although it does help. It doesn't matter if your family or friends or partner believes in you. The most important person who needs to believe in you is yourself. You need to want it for yourself. You need to know and fully believe that you're a good driver who deserves to be on that road with everyone else. You need to do it only for yourself, no-one else. It doesn't matter what anyone else says. Their words are nice but they mean nothing until you start to believe in yourself. And the difference you'll feel when you achieve that is remarkable. The difference to your driving is remarkable. It changes everything for the better. So give yourself that gift. You deserve it!

August Playlist

AUGUST PLAYLIST

First thing's first, I really do hope you like the photo I've chosen to accompany this post with. Isn't it just wonderful, dear readers? It was taken on my first day in Copenhagen last month when we went for a boat tour around the city. We happened to pass the group of guys in the picture above, who were dressed as sailors and floating along the water whilst chugging from bottles of cool Danish beer and smoking cigarettes in the afternoon sun. They didn't have a care in the world, they looked so cool, and I loved their radiating confidence. To me, that photograph I took encapsulates the heart and essence of summer. You know, spending time with people you love, basking in the sunshine and heat (when it dares make an appearance), doing crazy, wild, fun things, going on adventures, or on the converse just chilling and relaxing in the laziness of the day, enjoying the long nights, feeling that simple kind of happiness that doesn't ask for much at all. This photograph signifies all those things for me when I look at it, as does it conjure some really wonderful, precious memories, hence why I thought it would be a nice accompaniment to this post. As you probably guessed, this is a classic playlist post, full of a mixture of old and new music that I'm loving right now, and the best thing is the common summery, feel good theme that seems to be emerging. This playlist is perfect listening for this time of year when it's still very much summer, even though the autumn is beginning to whisper from the distant horizon.

I simply had to do this post because as per usual, my Spotify has had a lot of action lately. The favourite song list keeps on growing and growing. The same few songs keep getting replayed again and again and again. Many parties for one have been thrown in my kitchen, with my current Spotify favourites providing the soundtrack. These songs listed below are defining my summer, and I love it. Right now there's a lot of really, really good music out there, many of which are songs that perfectly encapsulate summer. They make you feel free, happy, whole, excited and filled with that blissful, buoyant summer feeling. I always feel that with the music scene, it seems to go through the motions constantly. There's periods of time when the music released is pretty decent but it doesn't always blow you away. And then next thing you know, tune after tune is being released consecutively. The benchmark raises exponentially, the wealth of talent almost overflows, the quality of the music is unbelievable, and you find yourself dazzled and excited by music all over again. This is that time. On my playlist below I've got the likes of Sam Smith, Netsky, Wolf Alice, Courtney Barnett, Prides, RHODES, Lana Del Rey... all of which are producing some really cracking songs right now that conveniently are perfect for summer too. It's so wonderful!

So I've compiled all my favourites together, in the hopes that you might take a little listen if you find the time, or maybe it'll help you discover some new music and artists that you hadn't heard before. Either way, nothing makes me happier than sharing my favourite music with you guys, so I hope you like these songs as much as I do, and that maybe, just maybe, you'll feel just like those guys in the photograph above when you listen too.

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The Playlist

OMEN

Disclosure ft, Sam Smith

RIO

Netsky

YOU'RE A GERM

Wolf Alice

FOUNDATION

Cadenza ft. Stylo G & Busy Signal

DANCING WITH MYSELF

Billy Idol

WEST COAST
FIDLAR

HEY MAMA

David Guetta ft. Nicki Minaj, Afrojack, Bebe Rexha

FROM EDEN

Hozier

PEANUT BUTTER JELLY

Galantis

I'VE GOT THE SANCTIONED BLUES

Ultimate Painting

HOLDING ON

Julio Bashmore ft. Sam Dew

SAY YOU WILL

Fleetwood Mac

LET IT GO

RHODES ft. Birdy

THE NIGHTS

Avicii

NOBODY REALLY CARES IF YOU DON'T GO TO THE PARTY

Courtney Barnett

LITTLE DANGER

Prides

FEELS LIKE WE ONLY GO BACKWARDS

Tame Impala

BLOWN ROSE

Blossoms

GOOD TIMES

Ella Eyre

HIGH BY THE BEACH

Lana Del Rey

DOWN SOUTH BOOGIE

Golden Rules

BE A NOBODY

Soak

GUNGA DIN

The Libertines

Easy, Delicious Shortbread Biscuits

EASY, DELICIOUS SHORTBREAD BISCUITS

I adore The Great British Bake Off. I adore everything about it from gawping at the insane baking creations produced, the sheer talent of the contestants, Mary and Paul with their haughty baking prowess, Mel and Sue and their incredibly funny innuendos, the delectable tension that steers the whole show, the idyllic English countryside location... It's just wonderful and I'm not embarrassed to say that Bake Off on a Wednesday night makes my entire week. The excitement I feel just before it starts is unreal. It's just baking after all. But then again on the converse it's just so much more than that. For starters, very occasionally it does inspire me to actually attempt to bake something that the contestants have also baked on the show. Expand my baking horizons, so to say. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not normally off on one making super flat French pin wheel biscuits, Baked Alaska, three tier wedding cakes and biscuits with their very own biscuit box. Rest assured the inspiration and my baking abilities only go so far. However every now and again, I'm inspired to tackle a relatively simple bake seen on the show, and last week, after seeing some contestants expertly craft these gorgeous shortbread boxes, I suddenly realised I loved shortbread but had no idea whatsoever how to make it. Therefore after last week's Bake Off had ended, I set about finding a shortbread recipe and making it for myself.

I've never dared making shortbread before because I thought it would be waaaaay too hard. Kind of how I used to think about soup before I made it for the first time. Plus I normally never strayed from my baking repertoire, which mainly consists of different variations of cake and some zany creations of my own. However Bake Off inspired me to brave and try something new, and with shortbread being a staple of sorts in a British citizen's diet, I thought I owed it to my nation to at least try and attempt shortbread. And I can't stress to you how glad I am that I did give it a whirl, because not only is making shortbread ridiculously easy peasy (you only need three ingredients!), it also tastes divine. I've made two batches in four days and consumed six to eight of my biscuits a day. They're so delicious that I can't stop marvelling at the fact that I made them. I've been forcing them upon my family, who were rather hesitant to try my biscuits initially, and when they finally gave in the comments they gave were so nice and positive. It's definitely given me the confidence to venture on to other new baking territories and have a go at baking some new things that I wouldn't have dared to do before.

Making biscuits in particular is really, really easy and I personally prefer to make a batch of my own to keep throughout the week (that's if I don't eat them all in the space of two days) because with shop bought biscuits I'm always acutely aware of all the gunk that's gone into them. Obviously that doesn't often hold me back from eating them, but it is rather nice and satisfying to eat a delicious homemade biscuit knowing exactly what ingredients are in it, no additives or sneaky extras, and it almost makes the whole biscuit experience more enjoyable in my opinion. So with that, I would love, love, love to share with you my delectable and super easy shortbread recipe, should you want to bake and enjoy the marvel that is shortbread for yourself too!

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INGREDIENTS

2oz sugar
(caster works best although I've used unrefined and dark brown sugar so far!)

4oz butter

6oz plain flour

1 handful of almonds

1 handful of dessicated coconuts

2 teaspoons of vanilla essence

METHOD

1. Pre-heat the oven to 190 degrees.

2. Cream the butter and sugar together in a bowl until it creates a smooth paste like consistency.

3. Pour in the flour, coconut, almonds and vanilla essence and stir everything together until it creates a dough.

4. Use your hands to compress everything into a ball, take it out of the bowl and then wrap in clingfilm.

5. Put the shortbread dough ball in the fridge for 20 minutes. Meanwhile grease a baking tray with butter.

6. Remove dough from fridge, take off clingfilm and roll out the dough on a floured surface using a rolling pin or a glass.

7. When it reaches around a 1cm thickness, cut into rectangles, squares, triangles or use a cookie cutter if you want round biscuits. The choice is yours!

8. Depending on the size of your biscuits, you'll get roughly between 18-24 biscuits. Line them all on the baking tray, use a fork to make little holes on the biscuit surface.

 9. Cook for 15 minutes if you like your biscuit to be slightly soft inside and crispier on the outside, or 20 minutes if you like a crunchier biscuit.

10. Remove biscuits from oven and line them on a baking tray to cool for ten minutes. Then enjoy and keep on enjoying those delicious shortbread biscuits until they're all gone (which will be relatively soon after making them).

Musings About Love

MUSINGS ABOUT LOVE

I've always been quite an analytical person. I overthink things a lot, I struggle to let things settle, I sometimes draw the wrong conclusions. I want to know and understand why, I'm always looking for explanations, reasons, answers, I always try to make sense of things. I think everything through many times over, and for the last eight years or so I've been trying to discover just who I am as a person. It's the biggest mystery of all and because I'm someone who can't let things just be, I always find the need to keep digging, keep thinking, keep analysing, keep persevering, and every time I think I've worked it out, I seem to change and evolve again. Who I am is constantly changing, in smaller ways now though, so I in turn am always one step behind trying to work it all out. I find it impossible to feel myself changing and let that be. I have this compulsive need to understand why I've changed, what's changed, what does that mean for me in the future, what kind of person have I become now, how does that impact these different aspects of my life. It's both simultaneously fascinating and oh so tiring. And because I'm that kind of person, when it comes to love and my feelings it means that I not only tend to get myself in a right old pickle overthinking everything, but it also means as soon as I hit adolescence I was already starting to draw up conclusions on who I now was and what I thought I wanted or needed when it came to love. I was already analysing these new emotions I was feeling. I couldn't resist. 

Because I am the way I am, unlike a lot of other people, love wasn't this world of possibility just waiting for me to dive straight into and have fun trying to figure it all out. It was exciting and new, yes, but I just couldn't quite let myself go like everyone else seemingly could. The way I felt inside, what was important to me, couldn't be compromised. I already had ideas about the kind of person I wanted to find, the kind of love I was hoping to experience, what I thought I needed, so I found it impossible to fall for just anyone. Nothing happened just for the sake of it. And because I'm also a highly optimistic and hopeful person, I've consistently believed that what I'm looking for and who I'm looking for must exist out there somewhere. Occasionally I could be swayed but ultimately I refrained. So instead of jumping in I was stood on the sidelines, a la Charlie in Perks of Being A Wallflower I suppose, testing out my feelings from afar and doing my learning the textbook way, instead of diving in and experiencing everything for myself. I had many crushes, each of which had fragments of what I was looking for, but they came and went like the wind. Something was always not quite right, I always found a reason to say no, plus my self esteem and confidence were always a bit hit and miss, so I just didn't have the courage within me to even try and follow my heart.

I think things began to change for me when I met someone a few years ago who at first I never dreamed could be the person I was looking for. He wasn't a guy I would ever have considered. However upon getting to know him I realised my original assumptions had been very, very wrong, and he was in fact the closest thing I'd ever found to those virtues I'd stood by all those years. It amazed me at the time and still continues to do so now. Meeting him gave me hope that I wasn't crazy for feeling the way I did, believing what I did, as what and who I was looking for did exist somewhere. It also made me realise that I couldn't keep holding myself back anymore. Finding reasons to say no. I needed to stop being so uptight, stop being so afraid, stop being such a control freak, and give people a chance. Stop pushing people away out of fear. Trust life. Love is normally found hiding where you least expect it after all. And meeting this guy was also one of the first times in my life when instead of watching from the sidelines, feeling these feelings, learning things but doing nothing, I was forced to get out on that dancefloor and actually do something. Everything that guy ever taught me, which was a hell of a lot, I learnt because I was there experiencing it all for myself. Doing it all for myself. It was all so different to anything I had ever known, and surprise surprise, after all those years of holding back for far too long, diving right in after years of feeling unable to meant I finally gave myself the chance to do some much needed growing. Taking a chance and diving into the unknown, learning to ride the waves as they came instead of sitting complacently on the shore, is one of the best things I've ever done.

That small development in my life, meeting this one person, lead me to new territories I'd never given myself chance to experience before, and surpassing those self imposed restrictions took me to new ground which I then had to somehow learn to navigate. That re-assurance at finding the kind of person I had always been looking for, and having everything be so new, so different, gave me the freedom, courage, and desire to change. He was the catalyst I had been looking for. I don't think he ever realised, but this guy unknowingly helped me to completely change my life. I found this confidence I never knew I had, I did things I never dreamed I would be able to do, I learnt things about myself I never knew before, the way I thought about myself and my life changed irreversibly for the better. I didn't realise love could be so healing, so constructive. My self worth, my self esteem, my happiness all shot up. I had a renewed faith and love for life. I could feel myself finally letting go and coming into my own. I was finally finding who I really was. I saw things in a new way, a new perspective, and all those initial changes had a knock on effect across all aspects of my life. It was liberating. I felt like a nicer person, a better person, a happier person, I appreciated my place in this world. And when I went to university those changes continued to happen, and I gradually developed into the person I am now, which as I've said numerous times, is the happiest I have ever been. 

Things didn't end up working out with that guy, although he's still very special to me, and yes I'm still single, but it really is okay because even though I'm in the same predicament as I've pretty much always been, I have this new found confidence and belief when it comes to love. Everything is the same and yet simultaneously everything has changed, and it's a great comfort to know that things will never go back to quite how they were before. At this time in my life I finally know what I will and won't take, I know what I do and don't want, I know what I need, I know what I can give and be to somebody else. I know what love means to me, I know who and what I'm looking for even better than before, and I trust life that I will find that person. That I'll just know it's them, even if they aren't who I expect them to be, or look like I thought they might. Stop thinking I know everything and instead let myself be guided by life. The fears that used to govern me don't hold me back anymore like they used to and I can spot danger signs a mile off. I now know how to swallow my pride, my nerves, my fears, trust in my heart and take chances, put myself out there and accept what happens. I understand and know myself even better than before, and I really do like who I am now. If you can't tell already, I'm just at a very good point in my life so far, and not a day goes by where I'm not grateful for everything that has happened to me, because it has helped to reach where I am now.

So I guess all there is to do now is keep on being happy with the way things are, keep bettering myself, enjoy my freedom and independence, don't dwell on things that trip me up every now and then, stop overthinking everything and just love the life that I have right now. And maybe some day in the future, if I'm lucky enough, life will tap me on the shoulder and I'll turn to find someone with whom I get to share this all with. Someone who'll love how I sing and dance like an idiot at home when no-one's there, how inventive I am in the kitchen, how I go running red faced around the neighbourhood in my leggings and 'I'm red enough said' top. How I walk into door frames and tables daily, my incessant need to hoard anything and everything, respect my continued adoration for Alex Turner. Someone who'll love all the good and bad parts of me, just like I do, someone who'll be proud of the person I am and the good I try to do in the world, just like I am. Someone who is my equal, someone I can learn from, someone who fills gaps in my life I didn't even know were there. Reading that back now I know it sounds like a big ask, and asking someone to love all of you, from the good to the bad and everything in between is. It always is. But the older I get, the wiser I get, the more I realise that everyone is entitled to that kind of love. We all deserve it, and if we can each find it within our hearts to give that love to another person, we have that potential to love like that, then it gives me great hope to know that hopefully one day, I will be lucky enough to receive the kind of love I am ready to give too.

Harriet Russell

HARRIET RUSSELL

I've recently begun reading the brilliant Rainbow Rowell young adult novel 'Eleanor & Park' for the second time (you can check out my review here) and this morning I just happened to be looking at the striking cover art before I went for breakfast. The illustration was so simple and yet so cute, whimsical, pretty and it was entirely the kind of art that I just adore. I always seem to be drawn to the highly illustrative, graphics rooted art with black definitive lines, bold, block colours, a smattering of patterns, a combination of simple and intricate details, clear cut and cleverly thought out designs. I love it when an artist, illustrator, designer, uses their artistic skill to capture the world in that almost fairytale, cartoon, magical way. It's truly captivating. And that's the kind of art that catches my eye, intrigues my mind and which I find myself easily getting lost within. That's the kind of art I find pleasing to look at, which makes me feel happy, which means something to me and not only inspires me, but also inspires the artwork I produce too. So when I saw that particular illustration this morning, I found myself curious to know just who had produced that gorgeous little illustration, because chances were if I liked that, then I would definitely love the rest of the illustrator's work. It was worth finding out, and lo and behold who should the talented creative genius be but the lovely British freelance illustrator Harriet Russell.

Harriet studied at both Glasgow School of Art and Central St Martins, where she perfected her brilliantly unique, beautiful, quaint illustrative style, and now lives in London, from where she busily supplies realms of original illustrations for various publications, projects, companies and clients the world over. She also sells her artwork in store on various different items too, which means aside from drooling over her existing body of work you can also own your favourite Harriet Russell designs for yourself, which is rather wonderful indeed. I adore Harriet's work because of the unique way she uses illustration to capture the world, or blend various imagery together to create an entirely new concept. I also love the gentle, pale colour schemes, the quaintness and delicacy of her illustrative style, the clever intertwining of colour, texture and pattern, and personally I find her style to sometimes be very reminiscent of the artist Rob Ryan, whose work I also adore. I could just get lost in Harriet's work all day, and because I think she's just such a talented, original, amazing illustrator, I would love to brighten your Saturday morning too by sharing some of my favourite Harriet Russell illustrations with you lovely readers.

All images are taken from http://harrietrussell.blogspot.co.uk/ and belong to Harriet Russell!

If you want to see even more of Harriet's wonderful artwork, head to http://www.harrietrussell.co.uk/