SOME RECENT THOUGHTS & HAPPENINGS
It feels like so long since I last wrote. I guess life just gets in the way sometimes, doesn't it?
I used to write this blog religiously, whereas now it only seems to be when I feel a pull to write, or a strong desire to share some thought or feeling with the world. Today is one of those days.
I don't have anything in particular that I want to share, just a random assortment of things that I want to share or talk about all at once. And by random, I mean random. In the post you've got everything from Fearne Cotton to gastroscopies to Samwell Tarly, to George Ezra to wondering what comes next after university. Life has, as always, been an unpredictable, glorious, wild rollercoaster. But that's just how it rolls.
So here we go, some recent thoughts of mine...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1) Fearne Cotton- Happy Place Podcast
I just listened to my first Happy Place podcast by Fearne Cotton, in particular the one with the brilliant Lena Headey from Game of Thrones, and I LOVED IT. I've never really been into podcasts, but I'd heard a lot of good stuff about the Happy Place, and I love Fearne Cotton, so I decided to give it a whirl. I listened to the podcast whilst I did some tidying up and had a shower, and not only did it make me feel like a very mature 21 year old, I also really enjoyed it. It was so nice to listen to a hearty, unscripted, honest conversation about lots of important themes all centred around mental health and wellbeing. It made me think, it made me laugh, and it made me feel more connected to the world around me. Would highly recommend!
2) Sam from Game of Thrones
The other day I was at a house party and I was talking to my friend about how I'd not really seen anyone famous in Manchester, well, apart from Chesney from Coronation Street that is. However, by some strange, fateful co-incidence, I was in the Arndale the next day, on my way to Wilko's, when I looked up and saw Sam from Game of Thrones right in front of me. I had a strong feeling that I knew him from somewhere, and I recognised his voice too, but I couldn't think where I new him from. And when I looked at him, his facial expression just seemed to say 'please don't say anything', a pleading look almost. But of course, it was only after I passed him that I realised who he was. It was the most surreal thing seeing Samwell Tarly outside Wilko's, when I've only ever seen him in Westeros, and having just binge-watched all of Game of Thrones. Life can be so strange sometimes...
3) Gastrocopy
A couple of weeks ago I had to have a gastroscopy, and I thought I'd share some tips in case you or someone you know ever has to have one. So a gastroscopy is a thin tube with flashing lights and a camera that is passed down your mouth, through your throat, and down to your stomach. By doing this, the consultant can see how everything is doing down in your pharynx, oesophagus and stomach.
Now I'm not going to lie, having a gastroscopy is pretty shit. Until I had one, I didn't appreciate how weird and uncomfortable it is having a tube down your throat. But now having now had one myself, these are my top tips on how to get through it:
-As you can't eat and drink for six hours, and surprisingly, you'll miss drinking the most, carry your toothbrush and paste around with you so you can freshen up and experience the taste of something in your mouth
-You'll belch a lot during the procedure. This is totally normal (and funny in hindsight), and you just have to see the funny side and roll with it, because it will just keep on coming and coming...
-Try not to swallow saliva, as it will remind you you have a tube in your throat and make you gag
-Hold onto the nurse's hand as tightly as you can, until the consultant tells you to let go because she really needs the nurse for the next part of the procedure
-Get sedated if you can, because I've heard it makes the procedure a lot more bearable and calmer for all involved
-If you don't get sedated, I would highly advise you to do these two things: deep breathing and visualisation. Think of the calmest, happiest place you can and go back to it whenever you can. Imagine every detail and feeling, because it will help relax you and take you away from your current, rather shitty situation. And take deep breaths constantly because again, it will help relax you, and it's the only way you can re-gain conscious control over your body and stop that pesky gag reflex
Lastly, try not worry about the procedure and what it could mean. The anxiety ISN'T WORTH IT. So instead, see it as a positive, a proactive way of looking after yourself and your health.
4) George Ezra
His new album, 'Staying At Tamara's', is brilliant. Pure summery, positive, spirited joy, that will be the soundtrack to your summer, and make you feel happy, calm and optimistic within a matter of seconds.
5) Running
Next month I'm doing the Manchester 10k again, and having not run since the last one I did a year ago, I thought it was time to start training this weekend. I used to love going for runs at the end of college and the start of uni, but it kind of fizzled out as my priorities and life changed. I forgot how great it is. And as I was running yesterday, it reminded me how positive and great running makes me feel, both physically and mentally. If you want to feel good about yourself, go for a run. If you want to see the power and difference that positive thinking can have, and in real time too, go for a run. If you want to feel in touch with nature and your body again, go for a run. If you want to eat a mega cooked breakfast, go for a run. The positives are quite literally endless.
6) Love
One important thing I've recently learnt about relationships, is to focus on, and remember all the positives about your relationship. Remind yourself of all the memories, the good times, the beautiful and loving times, the happy times, the difficulties you overcame. And celebrate the person you're with. Yes, you both have your annoying or less likeable attributes, but don't fixate on that. Instead, celebrate, recognise and indulge in all the things that make your partner so wonderful, so loveable, so special. Think about all the reasons why you love and care for them so bloody much. It's a fabulous way of putting things into perspective and making you appreciate this amazing gift and bond that you're lucky enough to share.
7) Uni
It's only a matter of weeks now till I finish my degree. Only two months till I move out. Three months till I graduate. After four long years of experiences, amazing memories, indescribable growth, a series of ups and downs, and having the absolute time of my life, this precious time of my life is almost at an end. I still can't believe it. Four years is such a long time, to the extent you almost feel as though it will last forever. How could it ever come to an end? How can anything follow this? How can anything top this? What does my next chapter look like? What does my future hold?
I always thought I'd have it planned out by this point in my final year, but the fact is, I don't. And sometimes that's ok, and sometimes it's not. Part of me knows that whatever happens next, it will be okay. What will be will be. Life will continue. My world will carry on spinning. I'll find my way to the next stepping stone...
It's just so strange because my life has seemingly always been mapped out and structured, and soon it will all come down to me. I will be responsible for dictating my story and my future. The paths I take, the roads I turn down. And this beautiful, blessed life I have been living for the last four years will look quite different, and I still don't know how I feel about that, and how I'll handle it. I love my life right now. It's as plain and simple as that. And having to give it up and say goodbye is so hard. I worry a lot about whether I'll ever be this happy and content again. But, at the same time, wow, what a ride. I'm so lucky to have had this experience. So indescribably lucky.
These are my stories, my memories, my history. And I just hope that I can find it in me to keep on trusting life, because if fate gave me this, something I had never dared hope for before, never dreamed could happen to me, then surely, hopefully, there are still better things to come.
