IMPORTANT LIFE LESSONS I'VE LEARNT THIS YEAR
With the recent turn of December, and as 2015 draws to a close, I've found myself getting in a rather pensive and reflective mood once again (oh aren't I always). Little things here and there get me thinking about myself as a person, important things that have happened to me this last year, different lessons I've learned, the multitude of things that I'm grateful for, things I want to change when 2016 pokes its head around the corner very very soon. Some realisations have been a long time coming, others are a lot more recent. Some things I feel fairly neutral towards, some make me feel very blessed and happy, whilst others still have relatively strong emotional significance even now. I always like to indulge in some good old reflection (and not just because it's a key clinical skill for my course) because it helps me to fully process the passage of time in its entirety. It helps me to be more appreciative, more understanding, as does it help me to pinpoint who and where I was when I started the year, and who and where I am now, as the year comes to a close. I can see the differences between then and now, and what's lead me to this place too.
This last year of my life, just like the previous three before it, has been one of the best, if not the best. And if I was to try and tell you why, I think I'd use up all the world's paper supply in the process. So much has happened to me, both internally and externally, and this is probably the first year in my life where I feel like a very, very different person to who I was at the start of the year, and who I am at the end. I was looking through old pictures earlier, and I just can't quite comprehend that they were all from this same year. It feels like so much has changed. Almost like a before and after, with the summer being the period of transition bridging the two. 2015 is the year that I finally, finally came into my own. 2015 is the year when I finally found myself, after searching for what felt like an eternity. This is the year when everything truly changed for the better and all the pieces fell into place, when I finally learnt some of life's secrets. This is a year that I will never forget for as along as I live, a truly defining moment of my life. And I feel very lucky, very privileged, very proud of myself, very happy, very content. So with that, I'd like to share with you some of the important life lessons I've learnt this year, as a little marker of this important time, and to also give you an insight into the deep mental rambling that is normally occurring, whenever you catch me on one of those rare moments when I'm not talking...
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LIFE LESSONS
001. I'm a fully fledged overreacter, aka. a drama queen, and I seem to lack the ability of immediate rational thought and emotional regulation. I get overwhelmed so easily. So I've learnt that for me, processing time is absolutely crucial. I need to allow myself that minute or two to think things through and put them into perspective. Consider my response, regulate my emotions and make sure they're reasonable and logical, before I do absolutely anything. Otherwise I normally get things very wrong or I make a right tit out of myself instead.
002. I need to be more in tune with myself, and know when to stop and call it a day. Otherwise I can just keep on going, and going, and going, till I've completely worn myself out.
003. This is one I hate to admit, but this year I've realised that I'm a control freak (yes, one of them), and I didn't realise till this year just how much I need to feel secure and in control of things, have my grip on life. It's quite bad. And as you can probably imagine, I don't do very well when things slip out of my control... But luckily for me, I have the chillest friends in the world ever, so I'm going to start letting their influence rub off on me, and just chill out, let it go, relax, take it easy and free myself up from the constant confines of control.
004. HAVE MORE SELF CONFIDENCE AND STOP AUTOMATICALLY ASSUMING THE WORSE. Many times this year, my self confidence issues, though better than they were, have popped up to say hello and caused a bit of havoc. It's been a lifelong issue of mine, but as each year passes I seem to improve dramatically, with this year being the best of them all. And I really don't want to let them compromise my personal or professional aspirations anymore, so here's to another year of being even more sassy and confident and believing in myself.
005. Be the change. Do the things you're afraid of. Take a chance and see where it takes you. Say yes, why the hell not. I have done all these things many, many times this year, and with many positive, fulfilling and rewarding results. And though things haven't always worked out in my favour, I consider myself to be a winner every time, because the personal benefits I've reaped have exceeded well beyond my wildest dreams. It's been a conscious effort, but my god it's been so, so worth it.
006. Be forgiving & be the bigger person, especially when someone's had the courage to admit they were wrong. Don't hurt someone just because you can. Everyone makes mistakes, so don't hold grudges. Life's too short. Likewise recognise when you've done wrong and apologise for it.
007. Times come when you have to let people you care about go, even when you really, really don't want them to. If they want to spread their wings and fly, if they don't want to be held down, you have to accept their decisions and let them be free. Let them fly away, and hopefully, just maybe, one day they'll find their way back to you.
008. Let people know you love and care about them, and thank them for their kindness. Pay them a compliment, write them a letter, give them a phone call, make time to see them, reach out to them.
009. Sometimes the past is worth revisiting, if only to make peace with it, but don't spend too long looking over your shoulder at what's already behind you. Take the best things from the past and use them to help fuel your future.
010. Good time organisation and being proactive, means you can add a hell of a lot of strings to your bow. You can do a surprisingly large amount of things and really feel like you're actually living your life to the full. It's great.
011. It's good to have an emotional windscreen, and to always be one step away from the emotion. Some kind of distance between your internal, vulnerable core, and the external parameters around it. And what I mean by that, is just let all the emotional BS and frustration and impartial words of others just slide off that protective windscreen, don't let things get to you, most of it really isn't worth the bother. You be happy.
012. Sometimes you have to confront things about yourself you'd rather not, and address those long standing problems in order to move on with your future, because unfortunately as I've learnt this year, brushing them under the carpet does nothing. The problems still remain and start to have a bigger impact on your life the longer you leave them.
013. Do all the things you love, even if you don't really have the time. Anything that is going to make you happy, or anything that you've always wanted to try, just do it, do it all. It's worth it if it makes your soul happy from the inside out.
014. Stop comparing your life to that of others, because all it will ever do is make you feel like poop, and that isn't doing anyone any good. Everyone's life is different and is amazing in different ways, so enjoy the life you lead and live it how you want to live it.
015. Until this year, I didn't realise how much unrealised and unreleased potential I had within me, waiting to be freed and put to good use. I imagine I probably still have quite a lot left in me too. And it was the loveliest thing ever to realise that about myself. It's definitely done wonders for my positive thinking.
016. I CAN TALK TO BOYS, REPEAT, I CAN TALK TO BOYS.
017. And I also know how to bleach a toilet (does that count?). The end.
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