Rinko Kawauchi

RINKO KAWAUCHI

I stumbled across the Japanese photographer, Rinko Kawauchi, completely by chance the other evening. You know the way, when you're passing through one pursuit to the next, like crossing trains in the night, and you happen across something rather wonderful that you otherwise wouldn't have discovered. That feeling, that peculiar course of action, that's what lead me to Rinko's work. And what an amazing coincidence it was. In the last couple of years my love for Japanese culture and aesthetics has been growing. I find it so intriguingly beautiful. And Rinko's photography makes me feel even more enamoured. 

As you can see, Rinko's work focuses on capturing those stunning moments of simplicity in life, that don't ask for very much, yet the joy and fulfilment they yield is truly magnificent. Those kinds of moments and simple joys that are far too easy to turn a blind eye to, and which we often overlook in light of the larger matters that occupy our minds. I love being reminded of those little moments, and what I love even more, is when someone is able to capture them. For they are so delicate and minute. They appear in a millisecond and disappear into the past just as quickly. To be able to capture those moments, and really do them justice, to somehow be able to record the nostalgia and etherealness with only light, colour and being, is a true skill.

Just looking through these photographs, guides me into a state of peace, calm and relaxation which I usually find very hard to come by. As I sit here writing, I feel like I'm floating on a happy cloud, and I feel at one with the world. It's a magical feeling, and honestly, part of me is astounded that photography has the power to quieten haphazard whirlwind that is my mind. So with that, I'd love to share some of my favourite pieces with you, and I hope you too find yourself in a lovely little happy place, after looking at Rinko's work.

All work belongs to Rinko Kawauchi, & can be found here!

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Manchester By The Sea

MANCHESTER BY THE SEA

The other day I watched Manchester By The Sea, and I haven't been able to stop thinking of it since. The sign of a good film? Personally I think so. Isn't that what good films are meant to do? They almost become a part of you, and they challenge your thoughts, perspectives, feelings. They award you with a new insight, a new lens through which to see the world. And Manchester By The Sea does that so perfectly. I wanted to watch the film after seeing the trailer somewhere a while ago. I was intrigued by Casey Affleck, an actor whose films I'd never seen before. I was intrigued by the promise of emotion, feeling, and human fragility. I was intrigued by the aesthetic and the honesty. And as as you can probably guess, as I live in Manchester, I was also intrigued because of the title. So I thought, upon its release, that I'd give the film a go.

The film is set in the real town of Manchester by the Sea, in Massachusetts, USA. Shot in the winter time, the ensuing coldness is reflected in the blues of the water and dull sky, the boats bobbing in the choppy harbour, the huge mounds of snow, dustings of ice, the mediocrity of every day life, and the greys, blues, whites and browns of the architecture. It complements the tone of the film perfectly. We begin with a shot of a boat, soaring out onto the horizon, propelling itself elegantly against the roll of the waves. On the boat, are two men and a child, laughing easily and carefreely. It's a beautiful, simple moment, and one that comes to contrast starkly as the true tale of the film begins to emerge.

It's hard to review Manchester By The Sea without giving some insight into the story line, though I won't spoil anything for you. That being said, this isn't one of those films whose success is wholly dependent on the twists, turns and evolution of a story unfolding. You won't walk away from Manchester by the Sea feeling like the story line was what made it so good. Obviously it's important, with some elements being both critical and devastating in equal measure, but it merely acts as a catalyst for its characters to react against. And it is here in their reactions, that the true power, feeling, magnitude and brilliance of this film, and what makes it such a masterpiece, resides.

Expertly directed by Kenneth Lonergan, the film focuses primarily on Casey Affleck's Lee Chandler, a man in his late thirties who seems somewhat distanced and detached from the world. His voice is oddly monotone and tired, his eyes seem vacant, his attitude and actions suggest a man who doesn't seem phased by any ensuing repercussions. He lives his days and nights in a cyclical, mundane fashion that seem to lack any warmth. It's a peculiar existence to have, and you can't help but wonder what Lee's story is. What happened? Where did the once carefree and joyful Lee go? The confusion mounts when these shots are intermittently contrasted with shots of a carefree, happy, loving Lee. He has a wife who he adores, a happy home, three children, and he seems to revel in the imperfect beauty of family life. It seems like a parallel universe, and its difficult to understand the link between these two existences.

Whats more, we also flit backwards and forwards between scenes with Lee and his brother Joe. Between life, the hovering moroseness of impending death, and the eventual passing. Again, the link is initially unclear, with Joe's death being one of the first things we learn in the film (and don't worry, I'm not spoiling anything by saying that- it's part of the film's summary!). But ensuing flashbacks help us to piece the picture together, little by little. And it is from this point onwards, that the true story and message of Manchester By The Sea begins to unravel and reveal itself, when Lee learns that Joe has chosen him to be the guardian of Joe's teenage son Patrick. And in order to care for his nephew, who he cares for deeply, Lee must leave his life in Quincy, and return back to his home town, Manchester by the Sea.

A seemingly simple act, this decision is anything but for Lee, and learning the reasons why is the thread that binds the film, giving way to a wealth of complexity and hidden truth that we can only begin to imagine. I won't go into any more detail, but honestly words can't describe the depth of this film. The past, present and future are constantly colliding with one another, distinct points in time unable to completely detach from one another. The past can't be forgotten. The future is a void. The present is overwhelmed by the two. In an essence, Manchester by the Sea is all about human suffering, and the way we respond to the desperately sad, life-changing, devastating, heartbreaking things that happen to us, both individually and collectively, during our lives. Those things that often happen beyond our control. It perfectly captures and explores the grief, loss, weakness, heartbreak, and how we must try to comprehend, process and confront the overwhelming emotion we feel. The maddening disparities between life and death.

In Manchester by the Sea, we see how each character responds to and deals with those feelings in a multitude of ways, and as I mentioned previously, this right here, this raw, unrefined, true wealth of emotion, thought, action, expression, this is what makes this film so powerful, moving and gripping. Not the story line, but this: the fragility, resilience, vulnerability and beauty of the human spirit. Many of us don't like to watch sad films if we can help it. I know I certainly don't. The heaviness and empathy can be too much to bear. And often we don't want to think about those sad, negative, distressing and overwhelming feelings that reside somewhere within us. We don't want to summon them. We don't want to think about situations in which we might encounter them. We don't want to look that part of life's equilibrium in the face. Our hearts are too fragile to cope.

It's easier to turn a blind eye. Easier to pretend that these things don't happen. That these feelings don't exist. That those cruel, seemingly random twists of life are a trick of the movies. They couldn't possibly happen to us. Happy endings can always be found. A flick of a magic wand can make everything okay again. We can go back to better times. The weights in our minds and hearts can always be dropped. The gaping holes can always be filled. The broken pieces can always be stuck back together.

It's blissful ignorance. It's fear. It's naivety. It's console. It's solace. And the very thing I admire most about Manchester By The Sea, is how it makes you feel, think about and confront those feelings. How it is so brutally honest about life's misgivings, misfortunes, mistakes, and how difficult they are to overcome. How healing can take a lifetime. How memories can stay with you for a lifetime. How imperfect we are. How fragile we are. I have always thought that human fragility, weakness, imperfection, and our attempts to deal with these things, are all so devastatingly beautiful, as is that gorgeous, glorious, tender human spirit. It is something I greatly admire, perhaps for the way it truly makes me feel human.

As you've probably gaged by now, Manchester By The Sea isn't a light film, and it may be one of those films you can only bring yourself to watch once. But I would strongly, truly urge you to watch it, even just that once. Don't be put off by the idea of suffering. Watch this film, and let it tell you its story, feel the characters emotions, follow the trails of though it provokes in your mind. I think it's so important, every now and then, to watch a film that connects you to the heart of what it is to be a human. And Manchester By The Sea, is one of those films.

http://manchesterbytheseathemovie.com/

Dear 15 Year Old Me

DEAR 15 YEAR OLD ME

Hey there, 15 year old Tasha. It's 20 year old Tasha here, just popping by to say hello, even though the logistics of time and space mean you are highly unlikely to see this (unless you exist in some distant parallel universe, in which case wow, excuse me whilst I try to stick the pieces of my exploded head back together). I thought I'd write because recently I've read some really brilliant 'letters to my younger self', e.g the lovely and very talented Anne, or the wonderful Victoria Beckham. And also because you're never too far from my mind, 15 year old me, even now, and there's a few things I'd like to hypothetically tell you, if that's alright, because I think you might like to know how things turn out. 

I'm writing to you in particular, 15 year old Tasha, because I know that you are in a bit of a rut, and in your opinion things aren't going too great. You've recently had the important realisation that styling yourself on Selena Gomez in Wizards of Waverly Place just isn't going to work, and that buying bootcut jeans from ASDA is perhaps not the wisest decision either. And that maybe it's time to see what other music exists beyond Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift and The Killers 'Day and Age'. Even though you've had your braces off for a year, and your fashion sense has marginally improved, you still don't really feel comfortable in your own skin, and I'll admit that yes there's still a few more iffy haircuts and outfit decisions to go. There's a while to go till you look in the mirror and really like what you see. But you're on your way my friend. Things are looking up, even if you don't quite see it right now.

I know you fancy yourself as the next Taylor Swift, and I have to say, I do admire your persistence with the songwriting, but I think we both know it isn't really going to happen. But that's not to say that you won't keep up the guitar playing, because as time goes on you'll come to realise how cathartic it is, and you'll be so buzzing when you finally own a capo. Heck, you'll even buy a drum spontaneously after listening to 'The Sound' by this pretty cool band called The 1975. And you'll sing all the time at home, because it helps you to relax, but unfortunately you still haven't nailed 'And I Am Telling You' from Dream Girls. But it's cool. You'll just stick to fangirling (yes, that's a real word, as is 'selfie' and 'lit'), over Jennifer Hudson's insane vocal talents instead.

Going back to the rut you've found yourself in, I'm afraid you'll find yourself stuck there for another year or so. And I'm also sorry to tell you that it will get worse too. You're soon going to find yourself falling to a not-so-great place that you've so far only seen on Spongebob Squarepants: rock bottom. And you won't really know why it happens. And you won't realise when it happens either. It just happens gradually over time, and the ball has already begun rolling. You've probably already noticed it happening. The mood swings. The irritability. The loss of perspective. That horrible low feeling that seems to come on out of nowhere. The negative thoughts. The way you sometimes don't feel strong enough to face your own life. And because you can't figure out why these things are happening, you can't figure out how to stop it from happening. And that's really shit, because you don't know if and when and how things will get better. All I can tell you, from five years down the line, is that they do. 

In time you will start to find those reasons why, and there will be a fair few contributing factors, and in time you will start to piece them all together and realise what you need to do to stop this happening again. But I won't tell you now, because I think it's important that you learn them for yourself, but I will tell you that this experience will make you stronger, and wiser, and better. And when you leave school, things will start to change for you. Things will look up. Your last year of school is not without it's difficult moments, but you get your first set of GCSE results, and you will be so happy and proud of yourself. You work hard at all your other subjects, and again, 15 year old Tasha, you won't believe this now, and you still won't believe it 5 years later, but you are actually one smart cookie when you want to be. This is the year that you start to realise you're so much more than that girl who's good at art. This is the year you discover you've actually been a science and language nerd all this time. And that changes everything for you, because suddenly your future becomes something bigger. Suddenly, anything seems possible.

You'll do a photography course at school, and discover Dad's old film camera, and you will love the freedom that comes from having a camera in your hand. It's liberating, being able to highlight the beauty in the world for others to enjoy, and it will start to make you appreciate the little things in life, a realisation that will set you up well for the rest of your life. And next year, you'll discover this thing called Instagram, and if you thought you were addicted to taking photos now, just wait 15 year old Tasha. A mild obsession is on its way. During your last year of school, you will make some friendships that are really important, mostly for the hope and comfort they give you. They will be healing and fulfilling, and they will help you to find yourself, and help you to be yourself too. And that growing strength and independence inside you is soon going to lead you on an amazing path of self-discovery. Just you wait and see.

I know that at 15, you don't really know what your life will be like, or who you want to be, and because of your striking ability to over-think, a trait you are yet to realise you have, you will get a bit stressy about these things. And as your interests grow, and you discover more skills that you never knew you had, picking one path, when there are so many you'd like to go down, is something that will cause you additional stress. You have some important decisions to make, and it will take until you're almost 20, to finally feel like you made the right one. But let me just tell you, some higher power is going to be very insistent that you end up in this magical place called Manchester, a mystical place you've so far only heard of in Take That's Beautiful World album. And the degree you end up doing (yes, you make it to uni in the end) is something you won't even realise exists until you're 17. But when Mum mentions it to you one day (you know how she likes to excessively Google everything on our behalf), and what it involves,you'll experience that light bulb moment that only cartoons ever seem to experience. Just without the actual lightbulb.

Uni seems like a long way away right now, but it will come one day, and honestly 15 year old Tasha, it will be one of the best things that ever happens to you. It changes everything. You even join a sports team- yes, you- and of course you're shit (at the time of writing, you still haven't scored in a match after 1 and a half years) but it doesn't even matter, because you'll have the best time. And right now, I know you think uni students are smug, arrogant, pompous, stupid, annoying people whose small talk only consists of what degree are you doing and where do you study. And you don't know if you can be bothered to do a degree, or if instead you're going to do something hands on and creative. But you'll figure it out, and when you do experience it all for yourself, you'll become one of those very people. Gladly, in fact. And it seems scary to think of uni right now, but by the time you finish college (yes, that happens too), you'll be ready. I promise.

And as for your love life, well 15 year old Tasha, that's a tricky one. I don't think you'll be surprised to learn that 5 years down the line, things haven't changed much, or at least superficially. I know you'll be a little disheartened to know that what you're looking for at 15, still eludes you at 20 too. But before you run away and do a Taylor Swift with your ASDA notebook and electric guitar, let me just explain. Although it looks like nothing changes between 15 and 20, under the surface, it really does. You will not feel or think or act the same way. Yes some annoying things persist, like your difficulty with letting someone love you, and opening up and making yourself vulnerable. But 15 year old Tasha, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by the things you manage to achieve in the next five years.

Your 17th birthday is an important day, and that A Level subject you consider dropping- don't. Something is going to happen. And at some point in the future, you're going to make a right hash of things, and it involves Draco Malfoy riding an alpaca. But make all those mistakes, because regardless of what happens, you will reap the rewards for the rest of your life. You're also going to learn more about what love means to you, and importantly, how to love yourself, even when you're being a mardy little poo. You're going to recognise the blessings of independence and solitude. You're going to actually give someone your number, but be nice to the guy when this moment comes.. Karma is real my friend. Someone will ask you out for a drink, and on the date you'll lose your voice, but revel in the awkwardness my dear. And even more barmy, you actually ask someone out for drinks, admittedly after having too much to drink and indulging in a late night cheese toastie (some things don't change girl). And when they say no, I promise you it isn't the end of the world, and you'll soon realise that all isn't as it seems.

There's so many things I want to tell you, 15 year old Tasha. If I could actually go back in time, I would do it in a heartbeat, purely so that I could give you a hug and tell you that everything really is going to be okay. I know what you're like. I know what we're like. Some aspects of us will probably never change, and at 20 you will start to accept that whilst these things make us who we are, we don't have to let them define or limit us. But my god Tash, I wish I could show you what the future has in store, and all the amazing, incredible, fulfilling, beautiful things you're going to discover and experience. If your life right now is a banana, hold it in your right hand and that upwards trajectory is a visual metaphor for the trajectory your life. You are moving onto bigger and better things my girl. And yes, you will still be eating one banana a day, and you're also going to develop a taste for red wine too. How exciting!

So I guess I'll be off now, 15 year old Tasha. It was nice to pretend to talk to you, and last but not least, I love you, ya big noob. Keep smiling (and keep wearing those retainers too- the dentist wasn't lying when he said your teeth will move out of place again).

xoxo

Salvatore Ferragamo

SALVATORE FERRAGAMO

How beautiful are these screenshots of Lily Aldridge and Mckenna Hellam?! Taken from Salvatore Ferragamo's Spring/ Summer 2017 campaign, these screenshots form part of a video shot by Stephen Kidd in Taormina, in the Island of Sicily. Titled 'Among Friends', the advert also features the stunning Spanish model Andres Velencoso Segura. All three models are depicted in numerous beautiful, breathtaking locations across the town, dressed head to toe in the most elegant, vibrant, wonderful clothes. 

The video itself is a real aesthetic treat, and easily has the same quality as a short film. Sweeping panoramic shots of the island, its picturesque architecture and the rolling waves of the surrounding sea. An accompanying song with dulcet tones. And of course all three models look so very glamorous, radiating that covetable, seemingly effortless Mediterranean spirit, beauty and glamour. The inner Spaniard within me can't help but rejoice at the sight of this video, as I simply adore the Mediterranean aesthetic with the dark hair, an air of mystery, daring yet simple fashion choices that equate to perfection, how the women infuse a fierceness and confidence into their femininity. Plus when those soaring blue Mancuinan skies have once again succumbed to a wave of grey clouds, I can't help but long to be somewhere warm, beautiful, and well, Mediterranean (there's definitely a recurring theme here...)

So if you'd like to indluge in the glamour of this stunning video, all you have to do is click here, and let yourself be transported to a place that will make you consider emigrating to the Sicily Isles and selling all your worldly possessions so that you can buy those dreamy clothes.

http://www.ferragamo.com/shop/en/uk

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How To Revise Somewhat Successfully

HOW TO REVISE SOMEWHAT SUCCESSFULLY

It's that time of year again, dear readers. Exams. Oh the joys. Oh the wonder. Oh how I do love spending endless days revising when I could be out actually living my life. But lo and behold, it is something we must do in order to keep moving forward in our lives. And although revision is a complete pain in the rear end, it isn't that bad, when you think about it. For starters, its entire existence is dedicated to helping you learn new information, most of which will help you better your life in some shape or form. It also gives your brain a good workout too. Plus its a reason to slob in your pjs all day and raid all the junk food in the house, because that brain of yours is one heck of a powerhouse, and it needs all the energy it can get.

If I'm still not selling it to you, don't worry. I don't think revision has ever made anyone jump for joy, in the whole existence of this universe and mankind. Lets face it, revision is one almighty, problematic drag. It also feels like a great injustice too, especially at Christmas time. When you've spent 12 odd weeks away from home, it's mindboggling why lecturers think you'd rather be revising models of sentence comprehension deficits, instead of spending time with the people you love. What's more, there's lots of different information to go over, condense and remember in a relatively short space of time. You have to figure out how to actually use the information in an exam, in order to pass the damn thing. You have to figure out where you're going to revise, how you're going to revise, when you're going to revise. Do you go the library, or stay at home? Do you start light years before, or do you cram it all in the night before? Do you go down the obsessive highlighting route? Do you make a revision timetable? SO MANY QUESTIONS.

Now I understand this post has not come at the most convenient time. I don't know about you, but my last exam is tomorrow (bar a lovely video exam next week, yay!), so I've definitely missed the bandwagon this time round. But I thought I'd share my tips anyway because they may still be of some use, and hopefully of more use next exam season (does the joy ever stop?!). They're usually somewhat successful for me, and its what I've found works, having spent the last five years of my life doing exams (yes I feel sorry for me too). So I hope something I write helps you out in some way, and I wish you all the luck in the world with whatever exam-related event you have to endure.

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TOP TIPS 

001. I know it's a drag, and yes I know that like me, you'd rather be watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians, but do the extra reading as you go along, and make notes of the potentially useful things you come across. That way you don't have to do it all later, and it normally helps you understand things better too.

002. Find out as soon as possible when your exams are, as it will help you prioritise what to revise, and give you an idea of when to start revising.

003. When it comes to making a start, chose a module and aim to go over a couple of lectures a day (aka. break it down to avoid having a Vesuvius-like brain explosion). 

004. I get a piece of paper, either A4 or A5, and I pick out the key things from each lecture/ extra reading, or summarise key things as briefly as possible, and then I write them all down on to a piece of paper or two. Nice and concise. It's a way of condensing the workload into something manageable, and pinpointing the most important information to take away from that particular lecture. 

When it comes to deciding what's important, I tend to follow the lecture headings or the ideas that seem worthwhile remembering. Condensing also makes revising easier, as you can easily take your notes with you anywhere. Literally, anywhere.

005. I try and do the above 3-4 weeks before the exam. I know it sounds nerdy, and not a lot of fun, but it means that 1) I have my resources ready to use nearer the time, and 2) it gets me subconsciously thinking about things, and remembering what I actually spent the last however many weeks of uni learning.

006. Google or YouTube anything that doesn't make sense, and try and find the simplest, clearest explanation online so that you've got it straight in your head first. Think of it as a platform you can then build on.

007. If you have to learn references for your exam, don't fret. Learn the names alongside the key fact/ idea, eg. Eggman (2013)- fried eggs are superior to boiled eggs, so that you learn to associate the two together. 

008. When deciding where to revise, I personally like to do a mixture so that things don't get boring. Sometimes I go to the uni library or the library in town, so that I actually get out the house and feel like there's some purpose to my day. Sometimes I stay in my room in my pjs and dressing gown. Judge it by how you feel when you wake up in the morning.

009. When trying to organise my time, I like to 1) write a list somewhere with my exams, dates & tick boxes, so I can visually see that I'm making progress, and 2) write a list each day of the things I want to do, and again put tick boxes so you can see what you've done, what needs doing, and relax when you've done.

010. Take breaks regularly, and use those procrastination activities as motivation. E.g, telling yourself you can go eat a whole packet of biscuits/ make a cup of tea/ check social media/ reapply your make-up/ chat to your friend/ like funny garlic bread memes/ find world peace, once you've done xyz. 

011. If your lecturer sets you questions, holds a revision session, puts intended learning outcomes on lecture slides, says you should revise certain things, follow their advice like its the word of God.

012. I sometimes make little info sheets or posters of info, as another way of condensing info down further. You can see how things link together better, and it's also a great opportunity to do some excessive highlighting.

013. Spend time just looking at your revision resources. Look at what pieces of information are where and what comes before/ after them, how you've arranged the information on the page, colours and words, used. I don't know if I have photographic memory or what, or if everybody can do this, but I find that by doing this, in an exam I can usually remember the resource in my head, and almost read it in my mind, which is pretty useful when I forget things. 

014. Use funny links to help remember things. For example, in my exam the other day, one of my references was 'Arehole', so naturally I thought of 'arsehole'. Therefore, when it came to using the reference in my exam, I thought of the idea, which reminded me of arsehole, then Arehole, and bam, I had my reference.

015. Like the last point, link information together, as when you're trying to remember things long-term, your ability to retrieve the information depends on how you encoded it. So like the previous example, I linked Arehole to the key idea, the word arsehole, the year 2009, where I was when I learn that bit of information, the format that the information came in (powerpoint in this case), how it linked to the subject matter and other pieces of information, etc. Lots and lots of links, so when I needed the information in the exam, I had lots of potential routes to help me get to that lil nugget of knowledge.

016. Personally I like to recite information out loud, in my head or under my breath, depending on whose around me. I look at the piece of paper and focus on a particular fact, then I look away and try and remember it. I keep doing this till I can remember the fact in my head clearly, then I repeat it a few times over. Some time later, I'll then question myself on it, and if I can't recall it, I go back and repeat the same process. I find this works really, really well for me.

017. Do a little bit every day, just to keep the juices flowing. You'll find that you'll gradually need to spend less and less time. 

018. Sleep lots during revision, because that's what your brain needs to consolidate information. See, there are some perks to revision.

019. A couple of days before the exam, just flick through the lecture slides again to make sure you haven't missed anything. If you have, the fact you've got most of the core stuff already down, means it's a lot easier to remember new things.

020. Eat everything you can possibly put in your mouth, cos that energy is going to make your brain one happy bunny.

Adios January Blues

ADIOS JANUARY BLUES

If you live anywhere in the UK, chances are your January has been cold, grey, drizzly, and a bit, well, pants. And that's okay, it happens every year, and it happens to all of us. Although new beginnings are really groovy and wonderful, they aren't amazing through and through. After all, we can't have the good without the bad. So to brighten up your mood, and your day, and your life in general, I've compiled a list of some really positive, gorgeous, soulful, enlightening tunes to help you say adios to those January Blues. I don't mean to blow my own trumpet, but this list is almost guaranteed to make your mood sky rocket, send a smile straight to your face and maybe even get you dancing, or at the very least, get one or both your feet tapping.

I think there's so much healing power in music, and I don't know about you, but always forget the wonders it does for my wellbeing. It's so easy to wallow around feeling down, yet ironically, it's so easy to open up your phone, iPod, laptop, and put some feelgood music on. The transformative qualities of music should never be underestimated. So I hope you enjoy this corker of a list, which I've tried to put together as quickly as possible before my temperamental internet nosedives into oblivion again, and I hope it makes your day sparkle.

001. THERE'S TOO MUCH LOVE IN THE WORLD- BELLE & SEBASTIAN
002. MIDNIGHT RIVER- VAULTS
003. I FEEL IT COMING- THE WEEKND
004. LOST IN THE DREAM- THE WAR ON DRUGS
005. REALITY IN MOTION- TAME IMPALA
006. SPOILER- BALOJI
007. 537 CUBA- ORISHAS
008. MS GRACE- THE TYMES
009. OUT OF THE RAIN- THE HUMMINGBIRDS
010. MORE- JESS BEST
011. SPECIAL BREW- BAD MANNERS
012. SIGH NO MORE- MUMFORD & SONS
013. YOU'VE GOT THE MUSIC IN YOU- NEW RADICALS
014. BETTER MAN- LITTLE BIG TOWN
015. BE THE ONE- DUA LIPA
016. MEXICO- JAMES TAYLOR
017. KEEPING THE DREAM ALIVE- FREIHEIT
018. CASTLE ON THE HILL- ED SHEERAN
019. THE WHOLE OF THE MOON- THE WATERBOYS
020. THE KIDS DON'T WANNA COME HOME- DECLAN MCKENNA
021. FESTIVAL- JOHN BUCKLEY
022. SUNSHINE LADY- DION
023. SECRET- FLEAROY
024. STORYBOOK- SKINNY LIVING
025. SUPERIOR- SUNDAY SUN
026. LOVED BY YOU- KIRBY
027. YOUNG HEARTS RUN FREE- CANDI STATON
028. ROCK THE BOAT- HUES CORPORATION
029. SOPHIE- BEAR'S DEN
030. DRIFT AWAY- DOBIE GRAY

One Unconventional Night

ONE UNCONVENTIONAL NIGHT

Hello dear readers. I just wanted to share with you guys an excerpt from one of my journals, because I've been thinking about it a lot, now that the new year has begun. One night last autumn, my friend and I went to town to watch a band play, and this is the story of what happened. There isn't an awful lot to it, but to me it perfectly encapsulates life. What it is. What it should be. All the joy, wonder, heartache, quirkiness. Those seemingly mundane things that when stringed together become something beautiful, This is an anecdote that's random and magical in equal measure, and I hope you like it as much as I do:

#35

This evening, my friend asked me if I wanted to watch her boyfriend's band 'White Eskimo', perform an acoustic set at the Black Dog Ballroom in town. And because I adore live music, and Manchester, and spontaneity, I said yes. When I left to go, in my new red leather faux crocodile boots that glimmer so fiercely and make me feel like a queen (oh the power of good footwear), I realised it was chucking it down with rain. As per usual. 

But you know, there was something so beautiful about it in the darkness. People huddled under umbrellas, rushing home for shelter. The homeless man who lives in a tent across the road, god bless his lovely soul, buckling up for the night ahead. The cars rushing through puddles, genesising a cascade of water in their wake. The street lights rippling reflectively in the water, so the world seems even more alight then it did before. It really was just beautiful. And in town, walking around the Northern Quarter, down quiet and peaceful streets usually so packed full of people and life. The pouring rain just added to the magic. It really felt like the city was ours.

In the bar we ordered drinks, and an old guy sat on a stool drinking Guinness, started talking to us. He was one of life's eccentricities. A floral scarf and a smart jacket, wisps of hair spilling out around the crown of his head, a long nose, a well spoken voice, and a childish, gleeful laugh. He told us how his grandparents once owned the building Affleck's Palace is in. How he knew the guy who started off body building. How he was making a black and white film about the guy who stole Edvard Munch's 'The Scream', and the film is being financed by the man who now owns the painting. How he used to be a circus performer. How his son now owns Hard Rock Cafe in Oslo. How he knows the presenter off an antiques show. How he carried a £12,000 painting through Derby city centre. 

How he knew the guy who made Germany's first non-pornographic sex film. How we need to spend less time on our phones and computers, and go out there into the unknown and meet people. Hang around in bars long enough to discover stories. Be eccentric and confident and seek the constant thrills of life and possibility, because life can be 'so fucking boring', and sometimes you need to create the magic for yourself. 

Even though he was bonkers and brave and a little bit up himself, people like him are the kind of people you never forget. They're inspiring and unique, and it almost feels like they know a secret about life that you don't. Sometimes I really do think that these kinds of people are the best kinds of people, and meeting them is something of a blessing in disguise. 

After the brilliant gig, we all went to a student pub near All Saints, and I got carried away just people watching. Looking at the people from my generation and how they dress, how they act, how they interact with one another. Wondering who they will become and who they used to be, and have they changed a lot or stayed the same. Wondering if they feel that collective hum of addictive youth and possibility, almost as if enough of us stood together in one place, our combined energy could take over the whole world and we would be the rulers of our destinies.

On the walk back, I thought about my lost love and missed him inexplicably and inexpressibly, even though in time he is fading away, though I doubt he ever will fully. Whilst I walked, I thought, and I realised how the sounds of the city have become a symphony to my ears. The sounds help me become lost in my own dreams and thoughts, as the sirens and engines rush on infinitely.

And when I got back home, I ate branflakes and I called back my sister. She told me she had called because she wanted to tell me what a magical, unconventional night she'd had. And I was so touched, and glad, and then I told her, me too.

The Way He Looks

THE WAY HE LOOKS

Yesterday evening I was searching through Netflix, trying to find a film to watch. Lately I seem to have acquired the habit of watching a film every night, as a reward for attempting to revise. It's a method that so far seems to be working. The other night I watched both parts of Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows back to back, and the night before last it was An Education. However last night I was more in the mood for Calendar Girls, because I just adore Helen Mirren in it, but like 99% of the films that exist in the world, it wasn't on Netflix. And so I decided to try something else instead. I didn't really know what I was looking for, and I mean, where do you go from Calendar Girls, right? 

After a little bit of searching, I stumbled across a film called The Way He Looks. I remembered passing it a few times previously, and feeling a mild curiosity to watch it, but never enough to fully commit and press that play button. Yet for some reason, last night I felt a strong inclination to watch it. The only information I knew prior to watching the film, was that it was about a blind boy who yearns for adventure. The word adventure was all I really needed. And as always seems to be the case, I was so very glad that I took a chance on this film.

Most of my favourite films happen to be indie films. Those ones that fall a little off the beaten track, and seem to exist without any of us actually realising. They don't make a fuss. They don't sing their praises. Instead they quietly go about bringing a piece of magic and brilliance into the world. I think I love indie films so much, for that very reason. And also for the way they honestly capture those every day moments and seemingly mundane events, that happen to everyday people like you or me, and make them seem extraordinary somehow. They show life as it really is, in all its glory and heartache, and they celebrate the hidden wonder and beauty of everyday life.

The Way He Looks is one of these films. It really is such a gem. A modest 96 minutes, Daniel Ribeiro's 2014 masterpiece is set in Sao Paulo, Brazil, with its tale told in Portuguese with English subtitles. I rarely watch foreign films, yet this film has made me wish I'd done so sooner, for how many achingly fantastic films have I been missing all this time? The story focuses on blind teenager Leo, who is beginning to yearn for independence and the chance to explore, be free, and experience new things. That age-old quest of youth, which I'm sure you're just as familiar with as I am. However in Leo's case, his visual impairment renders him dependent on those around him, and makes him a target for bullying, as does it threaten to limit him, and what he can achieve. The constant protection is suffocating for a young man who simply yearns for freedom, whilst his self-esteem is vulnerable to the daily trials and tribulations he has to endure. With people fuelling the notion that he can't achieve his dreams, get away, be independent, treated as an equal, or loved, it isn't surprising when one day, Leo decides to take matters into his own hands.

Leo initially sets the ball rolling when he talks to his oldest and best friend Giovanna about going on an exchange trip to America. With Giovanna always a loyal ally, protector and supporter of Leo, she agrees to help him set his seemingly impossible dream into motion. What follows is Leo's pursuit to seek the future he hopes for, with things taking a turn for the better when new boy Gabriel walks into class one day. Leo and Gabriel soon form a close friendship, with Gabriel immediately recognising Leo as an equal, and seeing him for who he is, irrespective of his visual impairment. Their friendship steadily evolves into something more, and soon Leo, Gabriel, and Giovanna must find a way to work through the ensuing conflict and uncertainty that it brings.

Although The Way He Looks is anchored by a fairly simple plotline, and nothing particularly groundbreaking happens, I can't stress to you how beautifully and meaningfully it is done. Lead actor Ghilherme Lobo puts in a truly spectacular performance as Leo, and his supporting cast including Fabio Audi and Tess Amorim, are equally brilliant. Meanwhile the Sao Paolo back drop is an aesthetic joy, and those cinematic shots peppered throughout are breathtaking. This film is everything you could ever hope for, and you really do root for these characters, whilst the strong coming-of-age theme adds a certain poignancy and heartache, as well as a tentative and gorgeous hope. Leo is such a strong character, both in emotion and personality, and he is surrounded by so much love and care, even if he can't physically see it. And his passion to change his life and break through the obstacles placed in his way, is inspiring and moving in equal measure.

Additionally, it's interesting to see how the friendships between Leo, Giovanna and Gabriel evolve against one another, as well as how strong they become as the film progresses. It's a reminder of how powerful. magical and unbreakable true friendship is. However my favourite thing has to be Leo and Gabriel's relationship. It is developed so very beautifully, and is a love story in the truest sense. A testament to the healing powers of love. How it can free, strengthen and help you grow into a better version of yourself. How it can make anything seem possible. How it doesn't matter what form it comes in, or how you find it. How it can change your whole life in an instant. If ever there was an ode to advocate same-sex relationships, and why we should try our hardest to create a society that accepts these relationships and treats them as equal, this film, and this love, is it. 

The Way He Looks isn't going to dramatically change your life, but it is a film to make you think. It's a film to make you smile. It's an interesting insight into another culture and country. It's a reminder not to let yourself be defined by the things that may otherwise hold you back. It's a film to remind you of the power and joy of friendship and love. It's a film to inspire you. And most importantly, it's a film to give you hope. And what more could we ever want, than that?

http://www.thewayhelooks.com/about

This Year

THIS YEAR

Hello everybody, and happy 2017 too! I still can't believe it's no longer 2016, but I'm so happy to welcome in this new year. When I see 2017 on the little toolbar at the bottom of my laptop, I inexplicably feel better just by the addition of those two digits. It seems right somehow. Even a couple of minutes after midnight on new years day, I felt overwhelmingly excited about 2017 and the year ahead, and I couldn't explain why. It just felt like something in my brain clicked into place, and I suddenly had this desire to live, travel, have fun, learn new things, explore, do what makes me happy, spread love into the world, and take everything on head first. Maybe that's just what happens when you're in your twenties, and this was a delayed reaction. I don't know. But it felt like a whirlwind of energy just catalysed inside of me, ready to be put to use.

 My new years eve was spent with family and family-friends, just like last year, and it was a lovely, wonderful, laughter-filled affair. The hour before midnight was spent talking about fate and co-incidence, a conversation so engrossing we only just made it for the 10 second countdown. And the hours after midnight were spent singing and dancing to old classics on You Tube, and drinking leftover prosecco. The whole night filled my heart and soul to the brim, and for some reason I felt incredibly appreciative of everything that had happened in my life, up to that point. If you ready my previous post, you'll probably already get the jist of how I'm feeling about last year, this year, and life in general, and nothing has really changed in the last four days or so. I'm still buzzing about everything, and I really can't wait to get on with living my life.

So to see in the new year, I thought I'd do a little list about some of the things I hope to do, because I realised that this year, I want to focus on being the architect of my life and my happiness. I want to continue building up my life and myself, into what I always dreamed and hoped they would become. I want to embrace that Kyoko Escamilla quote that summed up how to live your twenties, and just have fun, be a little selfish, and seek out the possibility and wonder in the world. And all these things, they are the quintessential and infinite way of youth, and I am blessed to find myself steadily getting lost within the midst of it all.

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HMMMMMMM

001. Double check I've locked the toilet door. Very important.

002. Expand on my cactus collection, which currently stands at the grand total of 1 (sorry Freddie).

003. Learn more songs to play on my guitar.

004. Start taking books out the library again, because I miss my little visits. And ideally try and give less aesthetically pleasing books a chance too.

005. Change up the colour of my hair a little bit, and see what lies beyond the realms of dark brown.

006. Reign in the sarcasm because sometimes I overdo the sass.

007. Remember what is most important in life, and use this knowledge to guide me.

008. Figure out how to make mash potato. I don't understand why it's so hard.

009. Take on some new volunteering opportunities so I can help other people, and also grow some more as a person.

010. Make a new IG account for my art, so I can start getting it out there into the world. And also figure out where I want to take my art, and what I want to do with it.

011. Start to think about what comes next after uni, and begin piecing all my ideas together.

012. Maintain my relationships with friends and family, and make sure they all know how much I bloody love them!

013. Listen to my body more when it comes to food and drink. It's actually pretty good at telling me it doesn't want that leftover millionaire shortbread cheesecake and it actually wants cucumber instead (not that I listened though).

014. Continue to push myself out of my comfort zone. If something scares me, do it.

015. Finish watching Gilmore Girls (and then probably watch it again). Also, hello Girls season 6!

016. Work on controlling my anxiety by deep breathing, doing things that relax me, and using my new-found perspective and experiences, because everything, literally every little thing, is going to be ok.

017. Curb the biscuit spread addiction.

018. Use some of my savings to travel somewhere again, whether in the UK or abroad, and photograph, draw, read, walk around, and appreciate all the little, beautiful things.

019. Try not to spontaneously combust when I see Stevie Nicks live.

020. Spend every day of summer fangirling, because hello I've been waiting 4 u since September 2016.

021. Hold on tight to this new belief in myself and my abilities, and use it to keep myself moving onwards and upwards.

022. Continue to practise my writing, and seek out further opportunities to use it.

023. Try to keep on putting good back into the world, in any way I can.

024. Accept that some days I will feel a bit shite, and that's okay. It's the way the world works, a perfect mixture of good and bad, and the important thing is that I overcome it and keep on going.

025. Think about ways that I can share my love of music with the world.

026. Try and be braver when it comes to romantic love, whether that be accepting it, showing it, giving it, pursuing it. I think it's time to stop being so afraid.